Sunday, July 02, 2017

BLOG CONTENT -- DAILY LIFE COMMUNICATING -- LIVING IN PLACE



HAPPY JULY 4TH !

You must read "Going Small, and Coming Home" by Shoreacres at Task At Hand

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Content on this blog is continuing to be an experiment with addressing several matters each post -- mirroring my daily life which also revolves around more than just one issue.    Every day is infused with living in the present through actions, thoughts triggered by daily experiences, occasional unexpected influx of memories – this is basically what I write about.    Perhaps the unsolicited inflow of memories tends to become more prevalent in proportion to my years of accumulating them.  There are occasions when I have no one here with whom to verbally engage, so some of the residual of that situation comes here.  


POLITICAL COMMENTARY 

My writings will likely continue to include some political commentary on the status of our government – more so than most of my previous years blogging which began in 2006.  My reason for doing so is that our current U.S. administration gives every indication of differing from previous ones in our nation’s history since 1776.  Their governing is not simply a matter of differing political party beliefs from those of the opposition parties views.    I perceive this administration's actions and stated intent pose a potential threat to the constitutional democratic republic principles on which our nation was founded.  I consider my moral and ethical responsibility as a citizen to question such actions, words, behaviors that I believe jeopardize my rights and freedoms and those of generations to come.

The President’s most recent demand under the guise of alleged voter fraud -- which is undocumented -- to obtain private data on voters is an example of a violation that, if allowed, is ripe for abuse of citizen’s rights by this Administration.  Given the President’s vindictive nature against anyone whose views differ from his own, his administration – or any other, for that matter – but his, especially, should not have access to this information.  Likely an “illegal” vote by his definition would be one other than for him and/or his agenda much as occurs in despotically-ruled countries.
 
Then there are his automatic condemnations of any factual news reports to which he objects coupled with his constant lying.   I won’t even discuss his most disgusting modeling of offensive language in words and writing any self-respecting adult would not admire – would not want their young children or youthful adults to pattern their lives after.  His words and behaviors do serve to distract many (which may be partly his intent) from focusing on his governing efforts that less than successfully address the needs of those other than the most wealthy while, as some suggest, his family coffers may be being enriched.  
     
Readers are welcome to be selective in choosing whatever topic segments I might write about that are most of interest to them and disregard those that are not, but that’s always been true.   I cannot avoid writing about our government’s functions since it is very much a part of my daily life, affects my future and that of my loved ones.    

 
DAILY LIFE

My real time daily activities often aren’t referenced here until after the fact, if at all, unlike the writings of many other bloggers.  This is for the simple reason that as a widow now, I live alone – as I have been for the past decade, but had not previously done except for a number of years after college and before I wed.

Publicly distributing information on the Internet about my daily routines might not be in my personal best interest should those with less concern for my welfare and safety choose to abuse that information.    Also, my life is pretty routine and probably would be considered by others to be dull much of the time compared to that of many I read about.  While I’m still active, I confess to being less so as I get older.

My family members’ excitements and activities are mostly shared via various technical devices, even, occasionally, the old-fashioned standard postal service mailings.  This is because the bulk of our time is spent physically apart since the few remaining alive live distances, even across the country, from me. 

Tech-wise, for example, my son texted me this past weekend saying, “Whas up, Mom?  Wanna Facetime?”  Timing was perfect for me, so I quickly replied, “O.K.!”  Within minutes my iPad-mini screen was filled with my son’s presence in real time, quickly followed by my 5 year old grandson’s coming into view.  In the background I could see and hear my DIL joining our conversation as she was wrapping up some activities on her laptop.

Soon my grandson wanted to read to me a book since his achieving this ever-increasing skill had progressed even more in his kindergarten year just completed.   I was duly impressed as he pretty fluently read long sentences (for him), successfully sounded out a few initially challenging words, accepted some cues or prompts on others as needed from his folks.  All in all we had a delightful conversation, then my grandson later went off to seek his own entertainment and we adults, sometimes just my son and I, caught up with the “doin’s” in each other’s lives.

Updates on my needs, concerns, welfare are always a basis of inquiry from my son or daughter though I dutifully keep them regularly posted.   My daughter and I tend to have long phone conversations, preferring our landlines when we talk, though all have smart phones (except me as I still prefer to use my old cell phone).    Shorter conversations from my now young adult granddaughter occur which I especially treasure knowing how busy young people’s lives can be.   In between these contacts we all text and email, sometimes daily, occasionally several times a day, individually or in a group dialogue. 

What a contrast all this communication is compared with what I had with my Mother, MIL and other family living then when we lived such a distance from each other years ago.   Long distance phone calls could be expensive, though we had progressed past the time when such a call meant some catastrophe had occurred or someone had died.    We did make an effort to take advantage of hours when reduced phone rates applied.   We wrote letters mostly.  I often typed mine on my Royal portable which I still have. 

I read recently typewriters are gaining renewed use and appreciation much as long playing vinyl records (LPs) -- news reports Sony is now pressing LPs again.   Increasing numbers of discerning music listeners desire the fullness of LP sound over that of digital just as I determined and told skeptical others so many years ago after listening to CDs.   

Sometimes when tape recorders became more reasonably priced and reduced in size with cassettes, we dictated verbal letters to my Mother (as her vision was failing), and brother in Hawaii – the rest of us were scattered about on the Mainland -- mailing them to each other.  I still have one tape (if it hasn’t disintegrated) of my mother’s voice and wish I had saved more, including one with my now-deceased only brother and sibling. 


GARDENER

Today, I succumbed to a personable young gardener I didn’t know or had never employed.    He unexpectedly came to my door offering to spread a combination mix of mulch and fertilizer to my yard as partial protection against our excessive summer heat.  His English was limited but he said he’d return in 14 days to see how the grass was doing.   I think he’ll be as good as his word (left a phone number), but if he doesn’t come, that’s okay with me.   I never respond to the rare solicitor at the door as they have to be licensed in our city.  I usually confront them to show me the license they’re required to carry, and I even phone the local non-emergency police number as we’re urged to do with any uninvited strangers.  “See something – Say something!” 

I still have some semblance of grass in all front yard areas but the parkway I converted to bark several years ago, disconnecting the sprinklers to that area.  Drought effects had a severe deleterious effect on my yard, but the grass never was in the pristine condition as it had been before when my husband was living and supervising the care once he could no longer do the labor himself.   I have the same gardeners but think I may not have been as meticulous in following a schedule fertilizing and whatever else my husband might have been doing. He had written instructions on everything but that in his notes, so I assumed the gardeners automatically took care of the treatments.  I will convert away from this grass eventually for less watering which I already restrict.

My gardeners are limited English speakers (Spanish) but we communicate well enough.  I’m very pleased with the tall hedges, shrubbery trimming they do, personally like any of the gardener’s young helpers with their good-natured humor and manner, so retain them.  I can always phone his home, where an unaccented native-English sounding speaker daughter will take my message which she relays to her father.

Perhaps part of my attitude somehow reflects a connection to my husband I may feel on some level – knowing they knew him.   He was discerning of human-kind.  He trusted them.  I trust them and have not been disappointed in their fairness.  They seem most anxious and responsive to pleasing me, whereas I’m more inclined to have them “just do it” and expecting them to know what to do without my direction.   I’m sure my husband had been very directive. 


LIVING IN PLACE

Being free of house and yard upkeep inside and out sometimes becomes a very attractive idea.   I review in my mind all the services available to me here in our city that will be of help if I ever need them – transportation, house-keeping, Girl Friday for errands, near by grocery/pharmaceutical/restaurants that also offer home delivery, home health care, close proximity to my top quality hospital and doctors, Meals On Wheels and even a socialization group for home-bound people if I choose to join.

I consider the reputable licensed electrician and another who is a carpenter I’ve occasionally hired, that have demonstrated their trustworthiness and assured me they’ll provide any handyman services, to be important members of any needed support team.  I’m reminded of solicitous neighbors though we interact infrequently – but like yesterday, I found outside my door a sandwich bag full of cherry tomatoes my young neighbors across the street must have harvested from their garden before leaving for a long holiday weekend since I observe their car is gone.

Most days I think only of how much I enjoy continuing to live in my home even though I’ve been so remiss in not yet undertaking long delayed much-needed redecorating of the interior.   I still need to downsize my “stuff”, sort through clothes I’ve saved in different sizes, dispose of work-related materials I likely won’t use in the future, cull my book library, just to name a few attack areas.  I don’t want to leave all this for my children to cope with.    I continue to remain dedicated to the “living in place” concept, living in my home.

I leave open the possibility of moving closer to either of my children as they have encouraged me to do for many years now.   Neither of them have any interest in returning to live in California, though I think it might be a possibility in the distant future for one of them -- I could be wrong.  My philosophy all my life has been to "keep my options open", so if circumstances warrant I will acquiesce to leaving this more desirable climate.  But I've told them both, that if my mind completely goes it won't matter much where I am.  

No doubt you have future plans or arrangements for retirement and/or older age living should you find yourself suddenly living alone, becoming less mobile, or in the event you experience unpredictable health changes.   If not, it's never too early or too late to consider.                                                                                                 

24 comments:

  1. Yes, we must be prepared for all kinds of change. I do not have to live alone, just yet, but I see us both aging and it will be very difficult to pry him from this high-maintenance home. I do not look forward to those discussions. I am very vocal on politics on FB and have lost a few friends. But, like you, if no one speaks out, I believe we will move to a more isolationist society with every man for himself.

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    1. A few years before my husband's death he broached the possibility of our moving back to a couple different places where we previously had lived. Since I was still working, having been able to work in the most desirable sites nearby, I was more than reluctant to move elsewhere to be relegated to settings probably much less desirable -- the better ones likely served by locals there. Another factor for me was one location would be subjected to hotter temperatures that we received, the other below freezing, snowy, much colder weather. Having "been there, done that" I preferred to remain here. I also considered would I want to remain there if I was left alone which seemed a distinct possibility given what I knew about his medical diagnoses, though I certainly hadn't expected that to occur as soon as it did. Another interesting factor to me was that our seven years age difference seemed more and more like we had become individuals from two different generations in many respects when we became older, which it never had before. Our previous moves had been to accommodate his needs which I whole-heartedly supported, but this time I thought it was my turn for at least a few years. I appreciate the challenges you face discussing a living arrangement change, also, what can happen with some friends when controversial subjects emerge.

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  2. Wow - what an interesting post. You certainly laid it all out there - and clearly we attack our blogs very differently. Personally, I check the topic and typically write 15-20 minutes on that subject. I have toyed with the notion of adding more in depth blogs to go along with the weekly LBC blogs.

    I find you and I are seemingly on the same page politically - I too fear the permanent damage that may be done yo our way of life by an administration when one of the principals has the stated objective of tearing down the system. The lack of civility that has become the hallmark of political discourse these days is very worrisome.

    I am not one who could live with a typewriter though - LOL - I am a lousy typist and computers make corrections quite simple. It is ironic as my last job was as a web copywriter.

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    1. I, too, mostly wrote for many years on a particular topic on many of my posts, though in reality they may have been a hodge podge. Then, I made a half-hearted attempt to shorten them as I tend to too much wordiness I think. So, having described here what I'm now going to experiment with doing, we'll see how that goes for me. I kinda like the freedom I feel of not being locked in to one subject if on any given day I'm not inclined to get all the gears in motion, but think it's probably past time I should post something new.

      I guess we mostly tend to gravitate to reading those with whom we discover we share similar points of view on issues. To stimulate brain function as we age, we need to be exposed to new ideas/experiences, so interacting with those of different views is truly beneficial -- if we all can just keep it civil. I enjoy topics you come up with as they do make the wheels turn which is what we all need -- to keep the wheels turning!

      Yes, I appreciate Word on my computer, but should take time some day to go through a tutorial. Some of the basics I don't know since I just started writing on the blank page and learned what I know from trial and error. Consequently, I could do things with my typewriter with unorthodox content setups I haven't been able to easily do on the computer -- probably can be done, but I just don't know the formula.

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  3. We are similar in our lives. Still open-minded, but content to be where we are at this time. I'm the same way with my service garage as you are with your gardeners. Fred trusted and liked them, so when I have car problems, I go to them. They are very good to me.

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    1. Really does matter, doesn't it, to have support from those who have proven in the past they'll provide us trustworthy service. Unfortunately, there are those who will take advantage of us widows and/or old folks. My husband had made a point of seeing our auto servicer would "take good care of my car if I brought it in instead of him", but a year or so afterward (husband had died by then) they relocated their garage further away. I did go there a few times and they were very accommodating, but I soon decided to go to a nearby garage I was familiar with, had good references from other people I knew and I've been very pleased.

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  4. This is such a long, meaty post that I don't know what to respond to. So first I'll comment on how doing face-time with grand-kids sure is one technological advancement that helps keep families close. My niece was face-timing her family on her trip to Ireland, and texted me. So cool.

    I don't worry over much about someone in the real world using my blog to mess with me. Though I am careful not to use names and exact places where I go or live nor do I write about exact future plans that will take me away from the house. I do have a blogger friend who posts too much personal information that are used to steal a person's identity that I worry about her.

    I agree about the state of our presidency right now and that we all have a responsibility to walk that line when it comes to speaking up or not. I struggle with it but I mostly keep my political thoughts on a large website where political debates are the only topics up for discussion. I go there daily. Gets it out of my system.

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    1. Nice that your niece keeps in contact. Mine does, too, but very erratically and less frequently and informative than I would enjoy. I received my first out-of-the-country Skype from Ireland -- a friend was there years ago with her full size iPad when they first were manufactured -- she wanted to see if it worked and it did -- fun! She and husband keep up with the latest tech devices and often are among the first to get one once the bugs are worked out. Now they've leased an auto with tech devices that have enabled him to safely drive again and she's comfortable riding with him behind the wheel.

      Having had an attempt to steal my identity once despite the care and cautions I've used, I continue to be a bit sensitive on the issue of privacy. I do think the day will come, maybe not in my lifetime, when Internet users will have a rude awakening as to just how much personal information and conclusions have been secretly gathered and made about them -- when exploitative users surface. I don't worry about it, but just avoid doing or saying some things, or going to some sites.

      I haven't wanted to spend any more time on the computer than I do now -- which is often too much in my view with just my blog. I have intentionally not used my Facebook, or Linked-In accounts or posted much personal info there. Initially, I became annoyed with Zuckerberg for jerking users around on the privacy issue prior to going public with stock and am not sure I trust him now. Since I'm not seeking work, I decided I didn't need to network on Linked In. I discovered and unpleasant truth about myself when I first began using a computer and accessed the Internet, then entered the blogosphere -- I was seduced by the false sense of intimacy it could create and that using the device could be addictive -- that I was susceptible to both.

      I can appreciate the attraction to compartmentalizing politics, other controversial topics, to specific websites dedicated to only those topics. I occasionally read some of them, but rarely engage in their discussions. I do source other type discussion groups that present all points of view, as well as listening to foreign countries news takes on our U.S. politics.

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  5. It looks as if I won't have the problems you have, because the chances are my husband will outlive me. He is the more practical one of us two, and I have the comfort of knowing he will be OK. Our daughters will do what they can for him, I know.
    As to politics: Why be intimidated? My views are mainstream. It's the Trumpers who are bizarre, so why let them shut us down?

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    1. I think it's important for both spouses to consider what life might be like if the other goes first. Often women seem better prepared to cope with that situation, but not always. Sounds like the two of you are prepared, as much as we ever can be, for whatever happens.

      I agree -- we shouldn't be intimidated when speaking about politics and other controversial topics. Discussion, listening to ideas different than are own, can be interesting though lack of civility in doing so all too often shuts down any meaningful exchange.

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  6. Wow ... you've posted a lot to be considered. I, too, find it necessary to blog about my reactions to our current President and his strange ideas about governing. I've followed politics for most of my 84 years and I am so sad to see it all going down the drain. I hope we can get back to a country that cares about each other and that refrains from using silly tactics and hatred ...they seem to be the norm now and it sickens me.

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    1. I know what you mean, Ginnie. We live in such interesting and exciting times, offering so much potential, yet requiring our seemingly herculean efforts to preserve all that is worthwhile in life from forces that would take that from us. I find it incredible that so much juvenile childish behavior is occurring from adults we trusted by designating them to shepherd our lives through these times are betraying themselves and all of us. I hope I live long enough to see a brighter future emerge.

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  7. Gosh, typewriters. There is one in the attic, last used 28 yrs ago. I still love it, though.

    I am waiting for its comeback.

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    1. Check it out on the web -- it may have already "comeback" for some people.

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  8. you very eloquently expressed the same concerns about our government that I share fully with you.

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  9. I have been in retirement for fourteen years now and I live with my son and daughter in love. My wife died eight years ago and though I am single, the home is cheerful with the two youngsters and our dog. In India, living like this in one's old age is not unusual though increasingly, the children want to live away from the parents. I guess that I am just fortunate that my son and daughter in love are of the old school.

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    1. You are, indeed, fortunate that you and family enjoy what you call the "old school" of generations living together. Some do that in the U.S., too. Households with lots of extra hired help often find accommodating extended family living together easier to do. My maternal grandmother would rotate living in her farm home across the road from her youngest son and wife, then staying part of the cold snowy winter months living with my Mom/our family, then a younger daughter's. So, many variations on how we adapt to our aging that it's interesting to learn about. Anticipating that my children would likely be moving periodically -- as my husband and I did -- I've not wanted to be going through that process, possibly several times in these later years. Since where I live now meets so much of the criteria important to me, offering what services I might need in the future, I've been pleased to remain in place right here. 'Course as I wrote above, I keep my options open given that life is quite unpredictable. I'm open to the possibility circumstances could alter all our lives resulting in all sorts of changes being best at that time. I've wanted my children to be free in their decision-making of feeling responsibility for anyone other than themselves and any children they might have. Consequently, whatever feelings they may have toward my care in my old age are unencumbered by obligatory responsibilities I've imposed, including the frequency of their contacts and visits with me -- I impose no expectations on them other than to live their best life and we all seem to have a flourishing loving close relationship. Expectations imposed by a parent on our adult children so often seems to be the source of a parent's anxiety, grief, disappointment, often creating family dissension with those family members as I've observed.

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  10. Our gardener cum handyman has been with us ever since we moved in here 27 years ago. He and his family are part of ours as are ours to his. No event ever takes place in either home without the others' presence. His two sons are now all grown up and are parents themselves but are in better employment and have allowed their father to come only to our place to keep the relationship going. Likewise, after his wife who was our maid in help, left to take care of their own home that they built 17 years ago, another maid took her place who has been with us since then and like the gardener is part of our family. Such relationships are very common here and in some of my older posts you will even see my son and daughter in law taking their blessings on festival days.

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    1. Sounds like you have a mutually beneficial relationship with those who provide assistance in your home -- perhaps in some ways like extended family. I know from friends from India with relatives living there who they've visited that the relationships you describe are, perhaps, more prevalent there than we're generally aware of existing here in the U.S. I do know of situations here where long time relationships with some others develops through service providing and/or caregiving usually.

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  11. I can't imagine why typewriters are coming back into fashion. I used typewriters for many years and well remember the tedium of making corrections, retyping, making carbon copies etc. I bless the day that I discovered word processing and how easy it suddenly was to write and rewrite and then print as many copies as you wanted.

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    1. I suppose for some people not having to bother with a battery or Internet connection holds some attraction. If I needed multiple copies I'd want a copy machine for my typed papers as those multiple carbons were a real pain as were the various copy forms we used for a ditto machine, or a mimeograph. Another attraction the news report said is to those fed-up with digital because typewriters are unhackable. Just imaagine, for example, typing some information could be among those techniques used at the highest level of top security -- For Your Eyes Only.

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  12. As a part-time accountant for a homeowners association for many years I had frequent contacts with landscape maintenance folks of many types. The Hispanic crews were be far the most diligent and eager to please.

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    1. They've certainly been taking good care of my yard overall.

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