ACQUAINTANCES/FRIENDS/MOTHER REMEMBERED

Remembering my mother with much love and affection this Mothers Day!
Tributes to my mother have been written here previously that may be read in the archives.
Increasingly I experience a desire to share my thoughts with Mother the older I become.
She always listened when I wanted to talk.
If only Mother was alive today.

Mother, having become a single parent and the sole support of our family saw that there were funds available so I could have the requisite uniforms as a Brownie then, when I "flew up" those of a full-fledged Girl Scout.  Maybe this Scout song was added later as our troop never knew it.  After mother wed again, then later when my family moved to the country scouting was no longer an available activity for me. 

GIRL SCOUT SONG "MAKE NEW FRIENDS'

 

Thinking of the people at varying levels of acquaintanceship/friendship I've known during my lifetime they have likely affected my life.  I've previously written of some of them here.  A few others come to mind.

Early in my life, my fifth-grade teacher, Miss Barroway, who a week before had wrapped my knuckles hurtfully with a wooden ruler for exchanging written notes with my boyfriend is one such person.  This day I was staring at a pulsing throbbing on her neck as she sat behind her desk at the front of the room.  Staring intently back at me as our eyes locked, she suddenly called to me to come up front causing me to quickly gasp wondering what had I done now?

I was immediately relieved when she announced I would read the spelling words to the class as she arose and departed the room.  Later, our principal, Miss Broome, entered the room to tell us our teacher had a heart attack.  I must have seen the carotid artery on the left side of her neck pulsating.  

Then there was the Jr. High boy and girl enraptured with each other whose names I don't recall now who were the only classmates that befriended me, a new student at this third of new schools in different states I was in that year.  A fourth school soon followed with a much more friendly student body.

I remember my high school English teacher who introduced me to important mind-expanding literature including Shakespeare via Hamlet.  Nor can I forget she had us memorize the last stanza of 19th century poet William Cullen Bryant's poem, "Thanatopsis", that is encouraging and reveres life, but notes death is part of the life experience.   This poem assumed increasing meaning to me as I became older.

"Thanatopsis" 

"So live, that when thy summons comes to join
The innumerable caravan, which moves 
To that mysterious realm, where each shall take
His chamber in the silent halls of death,
Thou go not, like the quarry-slave at night,
Scourged to his dungeon, but, sustained and soothed
By an unfaltering trust, approach thy grave,
Like one who wraps the drapery of his couch
About him, and lies down to pleasant dreams."

People we've known and admired can disappoint us but we can still respect their more positive qualities I remind myself now when I think of her.

This disappointment with her for me is because during my high school years, a classmate, Jim, rejecting his father's unknown KKK racism to me then had written a final paper for our English class supporting school integration.  I never knew of his paper's subject matter which I didn't learn about until recent years.  That was in the early fifties of the 20th century.

The teacher had given Jim's written thoughts to school administration, who possibly ultimately referred them to the retro-thinking school board.  He was actually expelled from school though I hadn't known all that then.  

My classmate was ahead of his times.  A few years later integration did occur after I moved away from that southern state, though only after the federal government had to bring in troops for the integrating students' protection and to prevent violence.

Having previously been following in his father's footsteps, Jim had altered course.  He went on to a university, then studied to become a minister, was active in the 1960's integration movement, continued his dedication to include assisting those seeking citizenship and asylum in the US. as he presently does.  Now he's also active in the long term care facility where he and his wife reside in Illinois.

After my undergraduate college graduation, having returned to my northern home state I was distressed to discover racism was present there, too, but just less obvious.   Unexpectedly, a situation arose necessitating friends there and I take action to circumvent and bypass a racist exclusionary effort by an organization to which most of us belonged toward a new member of our group of friends.

Such protest and resistance is precisely what I believe each of us must do in everyday living if we're ever to truly integrate to fulfill America's and democracy's promise of equality for all.    This does not occur with that population minority striving toward converting our nation to an autocracy contrary to their occasional words.

Undergrad college in my early years brought lifelong friends as did the university in Southern California where I returned for post graduate study many decades later.  In between those years were relationships formed as a consequence of my various employment settings.  There were also neighbors who became friends wherever I lived around the country through the years.  Everyone impacted my life in one way or another contributing to the person I've become.

The harrowing circumstances in Ukraine, refugees fleeing to Poland, Russia's Nazi-like behavior in the war-like invasion of their neighboring country, threat to other nations, prompts me think of a Holocaust survivor, Isabelle Teresa Huber. 

I had the privilege of knowing her in recent years during the short time she was part of our writing group. She had been a professional classical music pianist among her talents.  When she joined our group she was in the process of writing her first book recounting her life experience as only one of three children to live and escape her Poland city during WWII at age three.  She and her mother were separated for a time but ultimately reunited, eventually coming to the United States.

Isabelle's mother came to live with her and son-in-law doctor husband.  He painstakingly regularly engaged her mother in periodic conversation about the early years his wife didn't fully recall.  He took notes of the unraveling of his wife's family's comfortable life then disintegration when the Nazis arrived, her father's departure, how she and her mother escaped, the countries where they lived, how they survived.   All this storytelling became part of her book a regular member of our writing group and longtime personal friend of Isabelle, Nan Miller, was facilitating and editing.

Her book, "Isabelle's Attic", was originally published in 2013 which I reviewed on Amazon.  I looked forward to her next book but her life and that of her friend, Nan, aiding her took quite a different turn.  Isabelle's highly respected orthopedic surgeon husband who had retired, sold his practice, later coped with Alzheimer's Disease, and had to be institutionalized, then died in July 2020.   Meanwhile, Isabelle developed a terminal illness and died in November 2020 -- click on her Claremont Courier obituary with her photograph.   Her second book never could be completed for Nan's editing. 

Meanwhile, Nan's husband and later she also coped with serious medical conditions that prevented their further writing and publishing plans following up on Nan's first published book in 2013, "Girl 44", about her early life as a foster child known by her number 44.

There have been so many more people at a different level of friendship whose names are prominent in my memory but I won't attempt to write about them now.

Each of you have interesting stories of those individuals entering your life and the varying levels of friendships you have formed, I'm sure.  Perhaps you are prompted to recall some of them to share?

BECOMING WOKE

I received an interesting phone call the other day.  A gal I know said she wanted to ask me a question.  She prefaced her enquiry by noting how we disagreed on a number of matters but she seemed to think the matter she was enquiring about was associated with views of mine, even though she repeated not agreeing with some of them.

Her query was, "What does woke mean?"   I explained I understood its use today referred to individuals becoming aware of realities they previously might have not believed to be true.  Probably one of the most significant areas of being "woke" was with regard to the prevalence of racism.  

She replied she had begun to think that was what the meaning was, then immediately related the topic to those today becoming "woke" to discriminatory actions, even racism in our law enforcement.  She noted those people who had that belief would be sorry if funding was altered which she seemed to assume would result in loss of the protection from our police -- as though any proposed change in our police department policies, functions, or re-allocation of funding would result in undermining the safety our police could provide.

I reminded her of a decade or so younger mutual acquaintance (deceased now) who had years earlier shared with us stories we all found quite appalling, even objectionable, of actions of some of her family members in law enforcement,  even one who had been a very high official in state law enforcement.  Yet, this person's overall beliefs were very much aligned with that of the gal with whom I was talking, that no change in law enforcement practices relative to discrimination was needed.

My caller acknowledged recalling our mutual acquaintance's examples she, too, found unacceptable behaviors, but there was no further progression of thought that just maybe something needed fixing.   Apparently, both of their beliefs are that those law enforcement individuals were just a couple of rare instances of bad attitudes but no recognition the system might need some overall adjustments to lessen the prevalence of such actions reported elsewhere, too.

How does that make sense?  If the problem is so prevalent not only with those two officials but most everywhere else, too, as is being revealed, perhaps there is more of an issue than just a few so-called "bad apple" law enforcement persons.  Something more may need reassessment and change -- hiring requirements, training, policies, to name a few areas that should be re-examined.

I mentioned to her that some years ago, here in California -- perhaps in some other states, too -- there had been significant decreases in our mental health care system services to decrease costs.  The unintended consequence placed more burden on law enforcement to criminalize some of these people's actions absent the health care they needed.  

Mentally ill patients were released from care settings back into ordinary life for which they were ill-prepared to function effectively.  They often did not have adequate access to, support for their mental issues, or receiving monitoring to try to ensure they take necessary medication.  Some individuals, unable to cope, initiated behaviors necessitating law enforcement being called to protect law-abiding citizens, and even these ill patients from themselves.

I think of family issues, neighbor quarrels, acquaintances squabbles, distorted thinking with poor judgement resulting in calls to the police to quell disputes -- social issues others might be better trained to resolve to avoid violence, the challenge of helping those with the inability to reason rationally.   

Perhaps some adjustments to our law enforcers responsibilities might not only be better for all by relieving officers from the responsibility of coping with such, though I don't profess to be an expert on such matters.    Officers might even welcome a focus back on more traditional criminal activity.   What do you think?

AGING -- RACISM -- CONTRASTING BIRDS

BIG BEAR BALD EAGLES UPDATE from Friends of Big Bear report the remaining egg has passed the expected time frame during which a hatching would usually occur.   The first egg did begin to hatch but then circumstances resulted in the eaglet not surviving.   So, another unsuccessful season has passed with no new eaglets.  This is the live cam link on the nest where the eagles continue incubating this last egg though it seems unlikely it will hatch.

Coincidentally, while periodically checking on the bald eagles activities I happened on to a live video of a hummingbird nest in Thousand Oaks, a community west of where I live.  I thought it was an interesting contrast comparing the eagles size, their eggs, and that of this Allen's Hummingbird named Emerald.  This iridescent green hummingbird's two eggs are expected to hatch around the first of April for any who might be interested and can be viewed at this link:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3HDROQc2eU.

This is Emerald's second clutch this year having successfully had Ruby and Sapphire fledging in early March.  Unlike the bald eagles she does all the incubating herself and the male parent has no further involvement with the brood.  Reportedly Emerald constructed this nest on a string of Christmas lights and has raised several other clutches in previous years as reported by YouTube's Hummingbird Spot. (No infringement on copyright intended per Creative Commons.)

The soft rock group Seals and Croft from the '70s recorded their tune "Hummingbird".

I am reminded of the hummingbird nest constructed on some lines strung across our patio years ago.  We could easily observe the nest through our patio door and found observing the 2 eggs that later hatched fascinating.  One day when we were all away the little birds apparently fledged.  They likely had to swoop down from the nest to get out from under the patio roof which proved to be to their detriment.  We had, coincidentally, a bird dog in the yard that we had rescued from the pound who must have concluded it was her job to catch these little ones.  We found them long-deceased laying on our patio when we returned which was heart-breaking.

AGING & RACISM

Aging issues present themselves in a variety of ways.  I feel quite alarmed at news reports of older people being attacked and harmed for no known reason other than they were old and presumed to be less able to repel their attacker.  Some attackers have discovered the hard way the error of their presumption and found themselves detained, even injured, also jailed for their crime.  Other elders have not been so lucky. This enters my thoughts since security issues have come to my attention recently,  resulting in my instituting some additional precautionary safety measures.

Additionally, I've been especially appalled by news reports of how many assault crimes are being reported against Asians of all ages, including older people.   Racism against Asians is much more prevalent than I knew -- less common in some parts of our country than other areas I once thought.  

I do recall the adopted Asian daughter of a friend reporting her first encounter with discrimination after her family moved to Colorado twenty years ago from our SoCal area when she was high school age.   I never imagined she would encounter racist attitudes there.   She was physically attractive, personable, intelligent.  I thought it incredible any others could disregard her kind, good-nature, delightful sense of humor, loving manner.   My heart ached she and any others could encounter that sort of discriminatory  attitude.  

Years later another friend, a young adopted person of Mexican heritage with golden brown colored skin was subjected to much more frequent law enforcement stops than his caucasian brother their parents noted.    My black professional colleague told me of being stopped much too frequently when he jogged.  All of this dispels any idea my state is immune to discrimination though I'd like to believe we have fewer bigots than some other areas of our country.   

Racisms's overt expressions increasingly surfaced the past four years, seeming to have been validated as acceptable attitudes prompting unacceptable behaviors encouraged by the language of our previous President.   We cannot discount the possibility that several groups engaged in discriminatory acts are dedicated to fomenting violence in our country, trying to incite a race war.   Fomenting these behaviors serves to undermine our democracy inciting seditious acts in the effort to convert our government to an autocracy.  

I wonder if the day will come when racism, discrimination cease to exist, or will there always be people who are racist and discriminate against others?   Perhaps that must be a rhetorical question given human nature and the most we can hope is to reduce the numbers with such beliefs to insignificant levels.   

   

Profound U.S. Changes

Profound changes have been occurring in the United States of America during my lifetime over the past three-quarters of a century.   Recapping the progressive nature of all these changes would require describing considerably more than what I want to write here now.

Most recently our Supreme Court has ruled in favor of individual freedoms for all Americans to wed their loved partner.  This act will result in significant benefits for many individuals who deservedly will now become full citizens. 

Another Supreme Court ruling has made it possible for this richest of nations to continue to provide health care for some of our citizens who might otherwise have been without such assistance.  More plan refinement must continue for the ultimate benefit of all.  

Other issues involving symbols associated by so many with racial oppression are finally being relegated to a long overdue status of significantly reduced prominence as evidenced beginning with South Carolina's Confederate flag relocation.  Tragically, the life of many innocents allegedly taken by a hate-filled mentally-warped-thinking youth with allegiance to that very flag has been the impetus to arouse Americans to examine our morality on this issue.

Perhaps now we'll -- once again -- following another killing disaster -- seriously consider action to curtail the role of guns in our society.   We might even want to re-examine the use of the death penalty in our criminal justice system for all, but especially for the sake of wrongly convicted innocents.

We still have many important domestic issues to resolve over which we have some control and must act on them.   Clearly there are other unpredictable external forces we're unable to control taking actions that we will simultaneously need to address.  We must demand those elected legislators mired in obsessive ideology to the degree they neglect realistic practical action recognize compromise is an art they must acquire and practice for us to have an effective government.

The Supreme Court still needs to reexamine their erroneous decree interpreting corporations to basically have person status.  We, the people, have reaped the lopsided results allowing our political system to be corrupted even more by big money -- this in a time when such inequity exists between most citizens and the small obscenely wealthy percentage of those absorbing the bulk of all profits.

History is fraught with lessons of what can occur in a nation where such financial disparity is present.  Those who seek to be our government leaders, plus our nation's financial and corporate leaders would be well-advised to re-establish parity with citizens.  We citizens would be wise to take more responsibility for our government and its actions so discontent does not build to a potentially destructive force imperiling our democracy and republic.  Forces exist that all too readily want to usurp our way of life, belief in individual freedom and free speech.