Conclusion of Brash Young Adult - Part IV

(This is the final part of the first three or so years of my early ventures into full time employment. Scroll down for those three successive posts immediately preceding the special one on "Friendship".)

Brash Brazen Young Adult

These stories of my ventures into the full time employment world as a young adult surprise even me. In retrospect there were more than I initially remembered, my actions seemed more than a bit erratic. Actually, I experienced those times as quite exciting while I was living them. I did also enjoy activities that allowed me some creative expression and social life during those years. While I tired of the routine nature of some of the tasks in my work positions, wanted new challenges, I generally appreciated the moment in my actual day to day activities. I also enjoyed most of the people with whom I was associated. This has been true throughout my life.

I have been able to see the value of what I've been doing. I have been able to refine work tasks when possible, so that each position became worthwhile for me while benefiting my employer. Despite all that, I just wanted to be more challenged in a less predictable environment, have the opportunity to contribute more creatively. Also, I wanted to know there was potential for developing new skills, possibly leading to new and even more desirable positions, to have experiences new and different to me; to believe that what I did mattered.

During these years and what must have been a lull between seeking other positions, I recall I also had an interview with what was then one of the major airlines. My motivation for inquiring about such employment was rather spur of the moment when suddenly the imagined perks of a lot of free travel became very attractive. Airline positions had lots of applicants, were glamour jobs in demand, partially for the reason of lifetime flight benefits. A few weeks later, a letter revealed no offer was forthcoming to me. I was only slightly disappointed, but my ego had me wondering what I was lacking, or if the competition was such there were just too many superior in appearance to me. Those were the days when airline coach travel was more pleasurable in comparison with today's flights. What coach passengers today experience is more like being compressed cargo, or virtually vacuumed packed baggage.

Back then, I had also answered a help wanted newspaper advertisement placed by an employment agency in a major metropolitan area that was a distant (by mid-western standards) two-hour automobile drive from where I was living. They were seeking a promotion manager for one of the television stations in their city. I didn't know much about that local TV because our area didn't receive any stations. There was topography signal interference and cable was just beginning to penetrate such areas. Later I learned the wanted advertisement was for one of three affiliate stations associated with what was then just the three major networks--ABC, CBS, NBC. The agency had obtained an interview for me at the TV station. Following that interview, when I received an offer, I thought, "I must get my 'foot in the door'," so again I too quickly accepted the position through the employment agency.

Then when I got home, I started thinking about that windowless room slightly larger than a closet, with a desk piled high with papers and more strewn about, which would be my office. I recalled the position had been vacant for some time, and thought about why they hadn't promoted from within or hadn't been able to fill the job. Common sense left me with apprehensions. TV positions were highly sought after with lots of competition, usually. Just to work at a TV station was often thought of by many people as quite glamorous work and many wanted to be part of that world. I knew the realities of that partially erroneous perspective. I pictured in my mind, again, that suffocating room environment, knowing I would not tolerate it for very long.

I knew that just getting my foot in the door of the business was important, but I decided I wanted a different door. Years later after becoming quite familiar with all those TV stations, there was no doubt in my mind that I had made the correct decision. Ironically, at a much later date, I had another opportunity to work at that station, but this was the second instance which I described earlier, where I turned down the job, due to the employer's love affair with the bottle which meant lots more work, little additional pay for me.

Back to the first offer through the employment agency. I thought, how silly to go through an employment agency that I would have to pay for finding me this job, when I had just learned there were only a few stations in that market, so why shouldn't I just apply directly to them myself? I did take some liberty when I expanded on the kernel of truth in the story I gave the employment agency for the station, as to why I must regretfully withdraw from that position. I have no idea if they had told the station yet of my acceptance, much less if they had, what the employer's reaction was to my change in plans.

The employment agency representative was very accepting and understanding of my withdrawal, but I'm sure they were not happy. I allowed considerable time to pass, then I sent my letters of application accompanied by a resume as I had begun doing, to all those television station general managers (including the local PBS) except the one where I had previously interviewed. I knew by now, it was the low ranking station of the three.

A resume was rather unusual for a young woman to have prepared and submitted at that time, at least as far as I knew -- something generally only male management executives did. I included samples of some of my commercial writing based on station sponsors I viewed, because by that time cable and television had come to our town. The resultant effect was that I garnered myself an interview at one of the stations where I ultimately was employed.

I have since wondered, whatever was I thinking and doing during those three to four years. My family was not in a position to underwrite me financially. If my bank employer had not generously kept me working, despite my, perhaps, overly self-confident attitude toward leaving, I realize now, I would soon have found myself in dire financial straits, as I had no savings.

Actually, despite all this, after I started work at the TV station weekdays, then drove home every weekend, my old employer invited me to continue working on Saturdays when I came to town. We had bankers hours then, so once the bank closed, at noon on Saturday, the bookkeeping department balanced all the bank accounts for the day, we were free to leave. Usually, I was home by one or two o'clock every Sat. The cost of my commuting was amply covered, in those days when the price of gas was considerably less than a dollar a gallon.

Before starting these employment searches, I had just completed the final payments on a private loan from another family member. Her generosity in those days before federally-backed college loans, had enabled me to attend college in the first place. No doubt this release from that obligation contributed to the euphoria I felt at finally being free of financial debt, coupled with the earlier freedom from emotional entanglement.

Perhaps the confluence of these factors had contributed to the beginning of my restless employment change dance. During those years, I was much like a skiff swept by waves on the rough seas crashing against the rocks in pulsing but erratic movement, forced out to sea, then back to a different spot along the shoreline, by the ever-changing tide of employment waters.

Ah, the brash, brazen, bold risks we take when young.

Onward Brash Young Adult

This extended story of my first years of full time employment is happening over a three to four year time period described in the previous two posts about the actions of this brash young adult.

An opportunity for me arose at the local radio station owned by the same family who published the local newspaper. I interviewed, then accepted the behind-the-scenes position at that station. A couple of weeks before my start date, I became aware that the owner/employer with whom I would be working, had a rather serious debilitating habit. Now I was no prude, but this was the first of two instances during my early employment years when I avoided desirable positions offered to me because the individual with whom I would be working reportedly had a serious social problem that came in a bottle. My reasons were based simply on the fact that confidential information had been provided to me indicating that I would be doing all the work there. Much of the time I would be covering for and doing that person's duties and my own for little pay accordingly, and that person would be reaping all the financial benefits.

I phoned that new employer-to-be, told him that I would honor my commitment to accept the position, since it was so close to my scheduled start time, but I thought it was only fair to tell him that after a period of time that I would seek employment elsewhere, probably out of town in television. Now, television wasn't too highly regarded by radio people then, since fear abounded in many that radio listeners would abandon radio to become TV viewers. Radio would die as broadcasting employees would simultaneously lose their jobs. I had literally waved a red flag in front of the bull, so to speak, which likely escalated his anger toward me, because he did become more than annoyed. He, of course, did not know all of the factors motivating my decision. He, also, likely resented being placed in the position of having to accept me under those circumstances, or needing to hire someone else.

He tried to convince me of the folly of my intent when his position had so much to offer me. I was firm in my conviction which escalated his outward expression of displeasure with me even more. I didn't mind his anger, since my forthrightness allowed him to save face, essentially forced the withdrawal of the offer, which is what I wanted in the first place.

By this time, I was feeling a bit guilty about having withdrawn from positions I had accepted much too quickly. I was beginning to realize I was allowing the enthusiasm of the interview moments to affect my reactions. Also, affecting my actions were my concerns that if I didn't act immediately the job would no longer be available to me. I just was not giving the positions ample consideration before accepting or rejecting offers. This kind of behavior was not in keeping with what I believed to be a moral imperative, which was to honor commitments, not back out on them once made. Throughout all this, I was creating dilemmas for myself. There was little doubt how the employers felt as each, finally, vitriolically informed me that if I ever wanted to work for them again they would not be favorably disposed to hiring me. Their words were in considerably stronger terms.

Years later, as news of our nation's first manned flight into space emerged, I thought, just think had I accepted employment at that college I would probably eventually have met their famous alumni, astronaut John Glenn.

I had already given notice and a final employment date to my present employer at the bank. After they learned of my change in plans, I did not rescind my resignation much to their consternation. I remembered the previous conversation with them about future opportunities for my career progression. I pictured that glass ceiling still hanging pretty low, so I knew I would leave there.

Despite all that, my employer at that time ultimately did seem pleased I was still around, and asked me to stay on there despite all my machinations, though I hardly viewed them as such then. In all my wisdom, I knew for my own well-being I needed to leave that town. So, I politely declined, saying I was leaving sooner or later. They must surely have thought I was crazy. They accommodatingly said I could continue working until I actually had a position to which I could go.

Somewhere in the time frame of all this, I answered an ad for an interesting sounding position in the northern part of the state by one of the Great Lakes. There was a distance problem for me as I would not be able to drive home quickly and easily, if needed. There was no commercial airport in town, but then air transportation was not used as readily as is done now.

I was invited for an interview, so drove up the day before, stayed overnight in a hotel, entertained myself the night before by going to a movie premiere of "South Pacific." I quite enjoyed the story, the music, everything about this show. This trip alone to a new and distant city was quite a rather adventuresome undertaking for a single young woman such as myself in those years. Questions would be raised about a single young woman seen out and about, especially at night, in the minds of most men, and many women, too. You can be sure very few, if any, of the young women in the town where I was, would have done such a thing.

The next morning I had my interview. The only thing I remember about the actual event was that it was with some new publication hoping to capitalize on the television mania sweeping the nation. They hoped television viewers would eventually subscribe to this weekly publication that was named TV Guide.

I wasn't really interested in celebrity stories and gossip, though I had met a few such individuals who peopled the then considerably more limited entertainment news, so expect that attitude came through loud and clear in my interview. They said they'd let me know of any offer after they completed other interviews. Obviously, they weren't concerned I wouldn't be available if they didn't hire me on the spot. Ultimately they didn't offer me a position. I can honestly say I wasn't disappointed.

Employment life went on at the bank, I continued to be restless, and searching for a special employment niche I hoped I would recognize on sight. Then, what should appear in a newspaper from a more centrally located metropolitan area, but a "want ad" for a position at a television station. I'd better save that until next time.

Glass Ceiling for a Brash Young Female Adult

My Brash Young Adult story published here June 1st, provided an account of my introduction into the full time working world.

This is a continuation of that story which includes a dispelling of some youthful ideals. I was a bit reckless following my own standards, but then I learned the older adults were, too, in the interest, I suppose, of what they believed to be justifiably good business practices.

I could not quell my restlessness that resurfaced not too long after that frustrated employment change effort I first wrote about. Once again I sought to satisfy this need for more challenge in my work by seeking employment at a different business, but locally. They said they wanted to hire me, but had to resolve some issues beyond my control.

Little did I know, there was an unwritten understanding among the major employers in town, national companies, banks and other establishments that they would not hire employees from each other. If they did hire another's employee, I expect they wanted to be certain that competitive salaries didn't enter into the mix. This was the matter my prospective employer had to resolve with my then employer.

Because of the efforts of my previously described employer-guardians, as I now thought of them, (one was the son of the company president, the other my immediate supervisor,) they prevailed upon the president of the company to act in a manner I would want. I could not believe it when I heard, that this top national company official, of the second largest corporation in the country in their line of business, had met with the president of the local bank, where I had applied for a job. I was told they had to discuss my situation, agree they would let me change jobs, then establish there would be no hard feelings between them. I began later to wonder, just how far such business management networks extended.

I was allowed to change employers, but unfortunately, once I mastered that bank position, I immediately wanted something new. I inquired about the opportunities for my advancement now, considering I had been one of the two first women they had ever selected to attend special banking classes. I was among the top performers completing that class that was now no longer gender limited to just males. The question to my bank vice president employer was, what other positions did they have for me, coupled with increased salary? I indicated a willingness to pursue additional education and training they might require.

Imagine my disappointment when I learned just how low "the glass ceiling" for a woman was at the bank. Any move would be, at best, basically lateral, or would consist of a title and little more. Even that wouldn't happen until someone then in that position retired. Plus, that would be as far as I could go there. I was already frustrated to know I was making considerably less than my male, married with children, co-worker, who was employed after I was hired. This clearly illustrated my gender as a college educated woman (he didn't have any post high school education) and my single marital status with financial obligations of my own, were hardly assets deserving of a higher pay range. They were, possibly even liabilities for me.

About that time, a change in my personal life resulted in ending an "affair of the heart," as certain relationships are sometimes described. This added momentum to "my restless nature" surfacing once more. I became very discontented, making successive arrangements over a period of time for several employment changes that I later cancelled each time, a couple of weeks before I was to start work. One was a position I had accepted at a college some miles away to which I had planned to commute, together with a younger acquaintance who had simultaneously been hired at that same institution.

After accepting my position, on a first meeting with her parents, I was told how pleased they were that she would be with me, with words to the effect I was being viewed as being responsible for her well-being. This was a responsibility I did not want. I had enough of my own. So, for that reason and other second thoughts, I withdrew from that employment position, assuring her she would do quite well without my presence.

I stressed the opportunities she would have to meet new and interesting young people her age with wider interests than those she knew in our town. Additionally, she could begin to pursue a college education. That wasn't enough motivation for her, I guess, as I learned later she withdrew from her position, too. I know the high level university administrator for whom I was to work was more than a little unhappy with my decision. I was angrily told that if I ever applied for employment there again, I would not be looked upon favorably, to put it mildly.

I could have conducted myself better in these employment pursuits, and resolving my various personal issues. I certainly did subject myself and others to considerable drama. I blithely proceeded ahead during this early period as a young adult, but I was not yet finished creating complexities in the manner with which I was directing my life.

Then, an opportunity for me arose at the local radio station owned by the same family who published the local newspaper, but I'll save the portion of this story for later.

BRASH YOUNG ADULT

One of the interesting aspects of aging is that over the years we generally tend to become much less brash, brazen, and reckless, reducing risks in our actions, compared to when we were younger. I guess this is probably a positive state in which to be as we get older. Perhaps I should have become that way earlier. Nevertheless, when I think of some of my youthful actions, I find myself not at all remorseful over what I did. That's not to say I recommend young people today should model themselves after me, as the consequences of what they might experience could be quite different now.

I've often wondered what stories others might have about their own youthful brash and brazen behavior. My story started with feelings of dissatisfaction immediately after college graduation. I uprooted myself from tentative plans for career pursuit due to a sense of obligation pertaining to my mother's welfare. Thus, I found myself moving some distance to another state, ultimately into a very small community, where I knew no one, nor did she, for that matter.

I successfully sought employment there, though hardly of the type of which I wanted to make a career. The promise of working with the advertising and sales promotion manager who hired me, expressing an intent to help me develop further writing skills in the areas of his expertise made my position palatable. After a learning period developing my position's basic skills, practicing these same skills for a relatively short period of time, the work quickly became incredibly boring. To make matters worse my employer was so overwhelmed with his own responsibilities, as he worked at home to 2 a.m. and 3 a.m. many mornings, the expected special training he intended to provide me, understandably never materialized.

I became so dissatisfied, coupled with the fact that other opportunities in that town were so limited, I desperately answered an advertisement for a position which would take me out of town quite frequently. This was hardly a wise move at that time in my life, on many levels, other than this was designed to help me retain my sanity.

My employer seemed extremely sympathetic and sensitive to my needs when I told him of my intent to leave his employ. He arranged for us to meet with his good friend and immediate superior, a vice president and son of the president and primary founder of this company. They tactfully intimated that talents well beyond the artistic variety might well be unofficially expected of me by some male business leaders in some towns where I would be sent by this new employer. I was not completely naïve, just very anxious for reasonable change in my life. They cautioned even my artistic skills would be unreasonably tested.

I agreed to visit a nearby town, unannounced at a public fund raising theatrical performance comprised of a cast garnered from local people. Producing such events was to be the primary function in my proposed new position with the new employer. I could see for myself another person in the same position I was considering, perform some of the public skills entailed in the job.

They, in turn, arranged for an appointment with a former university instructor of theirs at a private university that had been my unfulfilled childhood dream to attend. He also worked professionally in a manner to which I aspired as he commuted to NYC, moonlighting in broadcasting assignments. I am forever indebted to having had my welfare taken so seriously by these employers-turned-guardians, and their efforts made on my behalf. After visiting that nearby town, witnessing a theatrical debacle of which I knew I would never want to be part, I remained in that original position. I had reconciled myself to staying a while longer in town.