APRIL FOOLS DAY PONDERING

Do you still play April Fools Day jokes on others, or do others on you?

What follows isn't a joke, but I sometimes see humor in unusual places.

I'm less than pleased with the consolidation in one place of personal information increasingly collected based on my internet computer usage. I've made some changes, but it will be interesting to see what happens with the advertisements that appear on my email accounts as time progresses.

Even before my computer use adjustments, what I wrote must have kept the master computer confused about my interests. Consequently, I've been amused by those far-fetched automatically generated ads appearing on my email accounts. I was startled to notice a link for free wild hog hunting in Texas, so when it continued for weeks I figured Texas must really be overrun with pigs. Eventually, I guess the computer figured I didn't want to travel to Texas when I didn't click on the link, or it decided to try a locale closer to where I live. So, the enticement increased with an offer for a free California pig hunting map -- later, more formally, a free boar hunting map (sounds sexist to me, but guess the sows are given a pass.)

During the months I've been pondering if I should undertake such a wild hog hunt, they switched the link to big game hunting in Canada. This took some serious thought. What sort of weapon would I need -- a bow and arrow, or would a firearm be better? I hadn't fired an Army 45, 22 rifle, or 12 gauge shotgun for over fifty years, and even then hadn't been on a hunting trip when I pulled those triggers. Should I get a 30.06 that I've heard about, or do they have other more suitable calibers now? But...I don't like to kill creatures, much less simply for pleasure.

Fortunately, about that time, the wild hog and big game hunting links stopped appearing on my email accounts, but bet they wouldn't have if I had clicked on even one. The proffered links then progressed to trucking jobs -- right up my alley at this stage in my life. Or, the offer was for Isat preparation? These were soon followed by so many choices that I just didn't know which one to pick: attending film school in nyc, getting a cia intelligence degree sounded really exciting, training to be a chiropractor, getting nursing training or becoming a physical therapy aide -- all opportunities just when I'm well past traditional retirement ages.

And then, there are the ads for medications they want to sell me -- all based on various internet searches I've made, I guess, for the multiple diseases, symptoms, ailments, prescribed medicines associated with some of my patients that I need to know about, or some I've heard mentioned that I'm just curious about. There is such a thing as more information than is wanted at times.

I'll be quite content to be entertained with the ads they give me, however far removed from my interests, since I have no intention of voluntarily providing any more specific information about myself. Privacy may be a thing of the past, as has been said, but I continue to insist on wanting the option of whether or not to release my personal information -- how much, to whom, and when.

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