Sunday, October 25, 2020

LANGUAGE SETS AN OPTIMISTIC MOOD

Consider with me whatever these thoughts surfacing in my mind during this pandemic may prompt you to think about in your own lives.  I think I am blessed with a somewhat optimistic outlook on life as I consider my situation, that of the current world and especially in my own country, the U.S.   I don't know why I tend toward an optimistic perspective, whether it's genetic, environmental, or due to other unknown factors.  Maybe it's the water I drink.

My mother mostly modeled positivity with a considerable dose of stoicism through circumstances she experienced in her lifetime including during the previous 1918 flu pandemic.  Years later we shared some unexpected significant life changes beginning when I was only a child to which we adapted.  I was able to observe her demeanor, how she coped, acquiring increasing appreciation and understanding for how she managed as I became an adult.

In my mother's case, her religious faith coupled with the secure foundation of her farm family upbringing were strong influences for her coping mechanisms in a very different time from that of my own generation.  Her religious/spiritual beliefs were personal, private, non-extremist, devoid of politicization.  They were not the kind pressed on me or others, a practice which might be better for all today to clearly separate church from state.

My life has been presented with its share of complications of varied complexities beginning when I was very young, so I have had adversities to address before, a few of which, unfortunately, could even be characterized as traumatic.  Fortunately, without denying such, I still developed an overall outlook somewhat like this song's lyrics.  (Much to my surprise I discovered among name vocal artists recordings a version by actor/director Clint Eastwood, not known as  a singer.)


Particularly during this pandemic time as I hear and read about many having all sorts of difficulties adapting and coping, I am grateful to feel fairly comfortable with how I have been able to manage, at least to date.  I do know what exists today is no guarantee for what the future may hold.  Certainly, my circumstances have not been without challenges as I age, incur some unexpected medical issues, and practice living in place in my home with no family nearby and too many friends long since deceased.

Also, anyone reading this blog knows I have very real concerns about the state of our government, our nation and the world.  I have ample reasons to be emotionally depressed, negative in attitude, even feel overwhelmed with the future's uncertainty.  For whatever the reasons, generally speaking, I do not feel that way though I am acutely aware of the potential for worse case scenarios both personally and with our country, even the world.  I do not ignore any of them, but they generally do not press on me emotionally though I do have my moments.

I try to consider what my options are in order to be as prepared as possible mentally and otherwise for what might occur which I've attempted to do throughout my life with varying degrees of success.  Beyond all that, knowing there are factors over which I have no influence, I simply go on with my daily life much as most of you probably do, too.  Always, the unexpected may occur, does and has, which is just a given, but I'll not fret about it.

A board game I had growing up was called "Pollyanna", the glad game, though I don't recall that I ever read the book which prompted the games creation.  I do know the name has become associated with describing someone "excessively cheerful and optimistic who wants to pretend life is all sweetness and light" as defined in Oxford Languages.  I certainly know life is not "all sweetness and light" as I'm sure you do, too.

Though I've never been accused of being a "Pollyanna" and never thought of my outlook on life as being excessively optimistic, some might not differentiate the nuances in meaning.  But don't confuse my type of optimism with that version prostituted to the extreme by our nation's leader's prevarications -- bald-faced optimistic-like lies.  

I do think between this pandemic,  how it's been handled, the general state of the nation and the world with the creeping autocracies featuring fascism ideologies, racism, environmental planet preservation issues, other inequities that a whole lot of negativity has been created.  This negativity permanating our lives can be as contagious as a self-replicating virus and we know something about that now, don't we.  

So, when I express some potential optimism and hope for the future I do so fully cognizant of the immediate reality, possible implications in the present and time to come.  (Countermanding this "permanating negativity" here's Steven Wilson's tune "Permanating" he performs with the Bollywood Dancers to lighten the mood.)


Positive Psychology  discusses that Pollyanna Principle but also notes "A tendency to be optimistic and find a silver lining does impact health and well-being" in beneficial ways as I think we need to keep reminding ourselves.  I think science and we can readily conclude the degree to which one is optimistic does have some bearing on the quality of our lives, though I wonder how many people agree with that view in practice.

I think the ability to find and envision reasons to be optimistic, thus have hope for our future, is vital to our mental, emotional and physical health.  I also believe the language we choose to use describing situations to others and to tell ourselves, especially, has some bearing on the attitude we create, thus influencing how well we cope.  (I rather like this version of jazzy sentiments Paul McCartney sings with artist Diana Krall and her musical group to convey the message.)


There are various means we can use to best adapt to whatever our situation.  Resilience is a means defined by numerous dictionaries and psychologists as our being pragmatic, able to adapt, withstand and recover from significant stressful events, adversity, trauma, threats, to return back into shape.  We're all mustering our resilience to survive this pandemic, our governmental and world situation as well as our own challenges.

I find being resilient, even stoic for a limited period of time, beneficial.  Combined with a degree of humor, being realistically optimistic without rigidly specifying a specific time when all will be resolved or overcome, can be a healthy approach to survival.  

Critical, too, is having hope for the future, again without defined timelines given the uncertainty, optimizes my overall wellbeing to travel the adversity of any rough and rugged road ahead.

I wonder how others view the manner they approach what they do to effectively deal with life's adversities, be it this pandemic or other experiences including from the past -- if either optimism or hope are present in your life now and as compared to other times?

22 comments:

  1. Being a Vedantin, I approach life as it comes and take whatever comes my way as my karmic effects. Somewhat similar to the Stoics.

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  2. The one thing I know about feelings and attitudes is that they are variable. My so called "good day" do outnumber the sad/downer ones. I am optimistic much of the time but something can hit me out of the blue or the wrong side of the bed and I brood and worry a bit. Not so much about me but for the planet and the younger generation and what they have inherited.

    But yes, I do count my positives, those items on the list can be long and nourish me for another day.

    XO
    WWW

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  3. Gosh, did we have the same mother somehow? You have described mine to a tee.

    I find relentless Pollyannas frustrating and annoying, and I've known several. While I don't wallow in negative or sad thoughts, I think it's important to acknowledge and validate true feelings. Sometimes things are just lousy. I like the saying, "Face it, trace it, erase it." Or, more simply, acknowledge it and then try to move on.

    There's nothing wrong with finding silver linings, but it can be frustrating and even damaging if it borders on creating alternate realities/delusion.

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    1. I agree that we do need to acknowledge and validate true feelings.

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  4. I am normally a half full glass type of girl but lately I think there is a leak in my glass. I have moments of positivity as well as moments of pending doom. I think my health issues are what tip the balance. When feeling good, I think we will all make it, when feeling bad, wonder why try. Maybe Nov 3rd will tip the balance towards the good.

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    1. I, too, find my physical health status on any given day affects my attitude one way or another.

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  5. Interesting. As someone who tends to dole out sarcasm and disdain just in case something goes wrong, I very much appreciate your points here. You are almost Buddhist - based on my very limited knowledge of what being Buddhist could mean.

    My father in law showed me how to remain positively resigned in almost all situations, his favourite version of Accentuate the Positive, was, of course, the Bing Crosby / Andrew Sisters one. He would sing it at the top of his voice on a Sunday after lunch (and several glasses of sherry) while pretending to play the piano and the grandchildren jimmied alongside.

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    1. I think the Crosby version was the original. Theres something to be said for using sarcasm and disdain “just in case” which I've been known to use, too.

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  6. I have been struggling lately. It's a big help to have a pile of Christmas gifts upstairs. If I get too down, I go upstairs and wrap a couple, make elaborate ribbons, label them and imagine the recipients' faces... That being said, I will be awfully happy when this election is over and counted. Well...unless tRUMPlethinskin wins.

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    1. This sounds like a really good coping idea. Thanks for stopping by.

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  7. Reading this post, I have the impression that you are emotionally stable, not given to mood swings. Congratulations. And I hope your medical issues improve.

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    1. I do not have major mood swings to a degree I need medication, but can empathize with those who do and would certainly wish for them they're able to receive the help needed to establish more of a balance. I have had friends whose thyroid med changes could alter their moods and know of some of their experiences, for example, so we all have to cope in unique ways. That said, I think language used can be a factor for all. As for me, some medical issues, especially as we age, are simply matters to which we must adapt and accept.

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  8. Like you I have tended more to optimism over my long lifetime but it has really been tested these past 4 years. However, for some reason (and even realizing that we are in for a very rough period if Biden wins and Trump has free rein until January 20) I have a strong belief in the future for our country. I believe it will never go back (thank God) but maybe (and I hope) our country will have matured a bit and will realize we need to open our country (and eyes) and finally join the world in tending to the really critical problems like Climate Control and education for all. I really feel pretty optimistic when I concentrate on those facts and see that we need to erase the swamp that Trump dumped us into.
    (PS: thanks for the lovely comment on my latest blog entry. It means a lot to me.)

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    1. You make some good points. I think even if Biden is elected, moves forward toward addressing pressing issues that the forces that put a person like our current President in office will continue to be very problematic hindering needed gains.

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  9. I think I'm a bit like you. I'm aware of all the worst-case scenarios (Brexit chaos, Trump re-elected etc) but at the same time I'm generally optimistic and assume most things will turn out for the best. Certainly I see no point in being negative about everything when there's enough negativity in the world already.

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    1. I think that type attitude makes living life more pleasant if nothing else.

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  10. As someone reminded us on the radio, recently, if we lived through WWII, today's problems are a breeze. Wear a mask? Stay at home? Big deal!

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    1. I agree — can’t believe so much is being made of such.

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  11. Everyone's problems are different and we all handle them in different ways, I guess.

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    1. Yes, we do have to tailor how we cope in our own unique ways.

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