HUMAN SNAFUS AID INTERNET GREMLINS

Thanks to my son for revealing internet gremlins were once again up to their tricks preventing me from publishing my usual weekly commentary, so that you wouldn't think I was sick or died.   His doing so bodes well that he will notify you of my demise when eventually the time comes as we bloggers have said we wish each of us could arrange for someone to do.

My internet connection was lost a few days after my last post here.  Following a reasonable amount of time with my inability to access the internet, I decided the connection was not going to resume.  Referring to my provider's monthly statement for a phone number to report problems, I mainly saw admonitions to use the internet for any issues.  In contrast, I noted a prominent large print phone number to call about where and how to pay my bill, but much less apparent was the miniscule-sized print phone number for customer service I didn't note until much later.  I first tried another number there, though there was none designated specifically for technical internet problems.

Thus, began what became a deteriorating circus of events that included a comedy of errors from what presumably must have been individuals well-meaning, sometimes misguided, maybe incompetent, efforts to resolve my internet service loss.

What information each of the numerous individuals with whom I had contact had and could, or should, have readily accessed I don't know.  What I do know is many seemed to not know the history of my problem from the facts of each of numerous previous calls I was making.   With each call, what do they record on my account besides the date, time, and "has internet" or doesn't -- assuming they do that?   I discovered what little they seemed to know if I got a real live person, occurred when they uttered enlightened "aha" type verbal reactions after it became clear in each call that I must describe the situation all again.  

My initial calls were mostly listening to recorded messages and talking to some voiced, some not, robots.  The first call warned me an unusual number of calls was being received so I would have a long-g-g wait.  After an hour I disconnected and found a different number I thought might work.  I ended that call after half an hour without talking to any real person.   I tried pressing "O" for Operator to seek a real thinking person but I reached no one.

Finally, discovering the small print customer service number, I reached a person after only a five-minute wait.  Eventually, his "aha" moment came when he decided further checking was in order after I short-circuited his usual tech routine.   He discovered "over 50% of the 23 people in your box reported problems, too"!  He observed this possibly means my lack of internet connection is probably "an outside box problem", rather than inside my house.  He volunteered I would receive credit for my time without the internet.  The earliest a technician would come to my house he said, was Friday between 1 p.m. and 5 p.m.

Later, I unexpectedly received a recorded phone call giving me a service ticket number that sounded like they must have lots more people with outages if this was my area:  "xxx hundred million, xxx hundred thousand and x hundred" was my number.  

I was content all was in order until Friday after 5 p.m. when I still had no internet, no technician had arrived, and I had received no phone notification about the status of my service.  My call to the phone company garnered a recorded message they were still working on the problem and would let me know the resolution.

Saturday, 11 a.m., I phoned again to receive another recorded message, still no internet restoration and they were not predicting a time when there would be a resolution.  (I learned days later this was untrue as the problem had been resolved Friday, but apparently not for me.)  

Periodically, every day I also checked my computer and/or modem but no internet connection.  Saturday, Sunday ran into Monday morning 1 a.m. wee hours when I started thinking about changing internet providers.  I decided to call my provider once again, reached a technician that from past experience sounded to be coming from India.  Once again, the conversation devolved to the point I knew I would have to again explain the whole story.   When I ended my convoluted tale, the tech concluded he needed to do some further checking.

Soon, the tech totally surprised me by saying the internet connection had been restored.  Since I didn't have a connection,  he said I definitely needed a new modem, though there was no mention further technical checking might be needed. The tech said he would have a new modem sent to me by UPS to arrive Wednesday. 9/1 which I would need to install myself.

I had never been notified of the internet restoration as the recorded messages said they would.  I asked when the internet connection occurred and was told 8/27 (Fri.).  I don't know if the tech came that Friday and didn't bother to make certain I was connected by checking with me, because I was home all afternoon, or what occurred.   He could have and should have provided a modem at that time if that was necessary, from my point of view.  

Frankly, my patience had long since worn thin.  I was now well beyond being annoyed,  having become angry at not being told of the internet restoration days earlier.  Now I was having to wait until Wednesday for a new modem.  At that point, I demanded a tech bring me a new modem and install it the next day (forgetting it was no longer Sunday, but 1 a.m. Monday now).  

The technician insisted he could not schedule the other tech to come Monday but would have to be Tues.  to which I finally agreed between 1 p.m. and 5 p.m. -- almost one week since I had been disconnected from the internet and four days after service had resumed -- but not to me.

Meanwhile, I had a troubled night trying to get to sleep, though I wasn't aware of fretting about this.  It was late (early morning) when I went to bed.  Just as I was finally about to fall asleep at 5 a.m. my phone rang.  I answered unbelievably to a recording from my phone company/internet provider "reminding" me I needed to be home for their service man Tuesday and the time.  What an inconsiderate time of day for such a call!

The recorded reminder call's only instruction to confirm the message was received was if I now had the internet that I should cancel the appointment by pressing the number 1 key on my phone.   There was a long period of silence, so I finally ended the call.  A few minutes later, the phone rang again -- same recording, same message, I hung up the phone as before.  Thank heavens the robot didn't call again.

Nevertheless, I didn't get to sleep so I finally just got up, decided to proceed with my morning.  While I was in the bathroom, the phone rang again.   I could hear what was becoming a very long message being recorded on my answering machine, but the words were too feint to be intelligible at that distance. 

Later, I listened to the never-ending same message recorded, repeating over, and over again on my answering machine.  The message was the same as the early morning one but with extra instructions this time, to press the pound key or to just hang up to end the call.   Surprisingly, after all those repetitive messages ended, an additional one was an actual apology for all the repeat messages.  An intelligent robot?

Tuesday arrived, but at 4 p.m. when I still hadn't heard from the scheduled tech, with only an hour to go in the 5 p.m. window of my home service time,  I decided to call my provider before their office hours closed to see if, and when the tech was coming.  Good thing I did!

The woman to whom I spoke contacted him.  Seems he texted my landline phone, got no response -- of course! -- since he overlooked landlines don't take text messages -- so he didn't come.  This company provides my landline phone service -- shouldn't the tech know?  After my rather irate elaboration that a tech person should know better than to text, and once again, describing my experience to date, the now  understanding woman transferred my call to a techie.  

The intelligent young-sounding woman technician to whom I was referred resolved my problem in no time.  I did again have to describe my experience.  She then had me check out my modem, made some adjustments on her end, and voila!  I was connected to the internet.  I didn't even need a new modem or further tech service here at home.

Perhaps the moral of this story for me is, don't contact after-hours techies.  Only report a technical problem to regular hours staff and technicians.  

My internet connection successfully restored, I decided to just wait and publish this latest epistle at my usual weekly time.  I feel better.  Thanks for "listening".

Moving on to a truly important matter in this world . . .

--- the U.S. military has departed from Afghanistan, finally ending our longest war.