A new year presents many unknowns. Probably we'll all be well-advised to focus on living in the present, day-to-day, wise to do at any age, but especially in our older years. Making future plans can be complicated given the circumstances of each of our own lives coupled with uncertainties created in recent years by the pandemic.
Traveling life's road probably many of us have taken special notice of the years when as youngsters we just couldn't wait until we were older. Then, we reached each succeeding decade -- 10, 20, 30, 40, 50, etc. I was aware of turning 30 but gave little thought to that change. When I reached 40 years I recall taking a bit more notice. When age 50 rolled around I thought of that age as being a half-way mark in my life, optimistically assuming I'd live at least until I was age 100.
Having reached that fifth decade, years numbers after that seemed hard for me to believe I was really that age since in my mind I didn't feel that old. Certainly, age 65 was a marker year, but 70 years -- really? After that I began to lose track as my age no longer seemed important. So much so that this year my daughter called to my attention I was actually a year younger than what I had been saying I was. Oh, well!
Once I had some experience with unexpected aches and pains, I did begin to think in terms of the fact my body probably was reflecting some of the wear and tear of living all those years even if my mind did not -- or at least I thought my mind was intact. That's what all those whose minds have flitted about a bit think, too. I understand, so maybe I'm not as sharp as I think I am. I confess, somewhere along the line I did begin to find writing down important dates, other matters have become more necessary to insure I don't forget, but I keep challenging myself.
I began to notice news stories of a few individuals my age and older engaged in physical events I was now less able to perform -- running marathons, playing team basketball games, weightlifting (none of which I did before, anyway). Some had not taken up those sports unti their older years, but not an option for me now.
I don't really embrace the idea older people should aspire to engaging in activities to which younger bodies are most able which seems to be what attracts media attention in our youth-oriented society. Still the search by some for eternal life goes on though no other animals seem to be capable of living forever either.
What is fascinating to me is how we all age differently, a fact of which I'm reminded when I'm tempted to compare myself to others featured in the media engaging in amazing activities. I don't fret about all that and instead focus on what I can do, what gives me joy and pleasure. I think most, if not all the bloggers I've encountered here, seem to be leading generally happy lives through their aging, older years, doing much the same.
The pleasurable experience of living is often revealed in the writings of numerous older authors I've read, also in how so many of even my now mostly deceased family members and friends chose to live their lives.
"Songs to Aging Children Come" Song Cover
Written by Joni Mitchel in 1969; featured on her album "Clouds". (This recording is reported on YouTube site as being sung by M. A. Ludwig)
Noting the happiness of aging children I recently noticed is Katharine Esty, who surveyed some of her contemporaries in the retirement community where she lives. I wholeheartedly agree with her blog's concluding findings:
"I learned that one's attitude is almost as important as one's circumstances. I also saw possibilities for a whole new vision for old age, a vision far larger than eldercare or geriatrics."
"Eightysomethings" written by Katharine Esty, PhD -- Expert On Aging Well and Family Dynamics is a book described as "A Practical Guide to Letting Go, Aging Well, and Finding unexpected Happiness", though I have not read it. She notes:
"People in their eighties have not gotten much attention from the media. Baby Boomers and GenXers -- the adult children of people my age -- get lots of attention, but not the cohort of people over eighty, even though this crowd is growing faster than any other older group."
Esty shares 10 Questions with her responses of interest to individuals and their adult children or others wanting to understand the aging experience. One question refers to the five coping skills she learned "...most eightysomethings use when it comes to having unpleasant health issues." She perceives individuals as being either Deniers, Stoics, Complainers, Worriers, or Realists describing their behaviors.
Sooner or later all ages who survive will become "eighty something" or maybe even older.
Your thoughts and attitude about ageing through the years are welcome whatever your current age.
My thoughts on ageing really started after I started facing difficulties in my movements due to deteriorating pre existing health issues now somethings that I have to learn to accept and live with. This process started seven years ago when I went through a period of clinical depression which was admirably and quickly treated by a very good psychiatrist who is now a good friend. The mental issue taken care of the physical side accepted, now I am at a stage of wonder seeing my son and daughter in love hitting their fifties and beginning to worry about me just as I did about my parents first and then my late wife.
ReplyDeleteOver all, I have lived a good life and as I hit my 79th year, can accept what the rest of it has to offer.
Seems sooner or later most of us encounter medical issues including physical, often mental, coinciding with major changes in our lives. Adaptations and coping can challenge us. Fortunately, there are professionals from whom we can seek assistance. I'm glad you sought and were able to obtain needed support with the bonus of one who has now become a good friend. Those of us who have young adult children caring for our welfare as you describe your family are fortunate. Perhaps having experienced our own parents aging process we are in a position of being able to facilitate our own children's efforts to best aid us in a manner benefiting all.
DeleteYour comment suggests an attitude that bodes well for your 79th year and those years to come.
This was a very useful post as I am snug in my eighties. Had to nod my head at the link to Dr. Esty when she mentioned the question about finally feeling old at 80. Yup, happened to me. No milestone birthday was a problem but I did feel it when I turned 80. When I hear of people competing in marathons in their 80's I think why not? Some how I never get started with that training program but who knows?
ReplyDeleteMore power to you if you are able and feel up to training to run a marathon. Guess you just start by running a short distance, then gradually increasing how far you go. Unfortunately, I currently have an uncooperative leg for doing so.
DeleteI am well into my 70s and my health was really great until my chronic cough (which is now under control due to nerve pill) and then, recently, I have noticed all the aches and pains AFTER I exercise. This old body is reminding me that I can not go back
ReplyDeleteA variety of unexpected annoying issues all too often have a way of suddenly unwelcomingly intruding into our lives the older we become too many of us experience.
DeleteMy mom would have been 80 this coming spring, and she would remark about the lack of attention to her cohort being due to being members of the ‘silent generation’. Once boomers start hitting their 80s, I suspect there will be a lot of talk about it. Funny that the person mentions Gen X as getting lots of write ups…I’m Gen X and feel like we mostly are ignored in favor of Boomers and Millenials.
ReplyDeleteI just turned 56, and I do feel some aging. I have Rheumatoid Arthritis, which is mostly under control but is limiting, and I never know whether aches and pains that I have are due to that or just side effects of being alive.
My step-mom just turned 75, and it’s hitting her hard. She feels old for the first time. She teaches yoga 3 or 4 days a week, takes a yoga class once a week, practices yoga daily, she walks 5 or 6 miles on days she does not teach, at least 2 or 3 on days she does, and she has an active social life. She makes 75 look really good. I tell her she is my role model for aging well.
Perceptions clearly can be different as you note, relative to the different generations. Perhaps there may be a variety of reasons why that might occur which wouldn't necessarily invalidate anyone's point of view.
DeleteGlad your RA is "mostly under control". I don't claim to be an authority on the causes of such aches and pains you experience but can appreciate how they could well be attributed to your arthritis given your young age.
Sounds like you have chosen a good aging well role model. Applying that word "old" to ourselves is one often resisted. You mention an interesting experience many people have when they first feel the reality of their years leading them to conclude and accept they're old. I think all individuals don't necessarily have this experience at the same age. I recall being told a family member was "hit hard" by age when he became 60 years old.
It was only when I reached 70 that I thought of myself as old. And despite a few annoying aches and pains, I'm still in pretty good health. Culture has always been my big interest, and now I have all the time in the world to read, to listen to music, to watch movies, to go to art galleries. So I'm a very happy 74 year old. And I'm encouraged to learn that there are many very healthy eighty somethings!
ReplyDeleteEncouraging to all working their way toward those eighties and older to see and read many continue to enjoy healthy happy lives.
DeleteWith each decade, I think the next one is when I'll think I'm older. I'm in my 70s now and like you forget what 70 I am. I have to stop and really think. My mom is 92 and she says she now feels old, but she doesn't really act it so I wonder how I'll welcome the 80s. We'll see.
ReplyDeleteI think anyone reaching 90 is quite remarkable. My mother missed doing so by about 3 months. The number of years we are seems not to matter at some point, at least to us.
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