Evil Spirits Exorcised

The past year I've exerted much effort in an attempt to banish evil spirits which have intruded into my life. I finally acknowledged their presence when I shared my tale of woe here. I was overwhelmed with a variety of remedies suggested to me by kind readers for dispelling bad juju as described in earlier posts about bottle trees, running around coffee tables and peacock feathers just to name a few curative magical solutions offered for my considered use. I am convinced these evil spirits have finally been relegated to one most appropriate central location in sewer pipes just outside my home from which I now believe they have been exorcised.

Throughout these trials I have laughed in irony in order to maintain my sanity at the continuing onslaught of unexpected events. This all seemed to begin the first of the year with personal health matters followed by periodic introduction throughout the rest of this year of different ailments new to me. Mechanical equipment problems joined the fray conspiring to unnerve me beginning this spring with the stubborn refusal of my home air conditioner to perform its duties during a major three digit heat wave, then having an outside water leak develop endangering a reasonable balance on my water bill. Even my car was subjected to unknown assailants which cost me a pretty penny.

If that wasn't enough, competition ensued between my appliances as to which one could be the first to next cease operation when they learned the oven wasn't working at all. I hadn't been able to get the oven rejuvenated due to it's ancientness. This was age discrimination in it's worst form resulting in my fifty year old oven having to be prematurely relegated to the junk heap for lack of new parts or even a caring repair person. (I still await the replacement oven's installation but hope to have it before Thanksgiving.) First the washer developed a leak I feared could become a flood at any time, then the dryer assaulted my senses with strange noises and a fear this machine would cause a fire. They have now been replaced with high energy-saving and water conserving appliances. There have been other problematic complications but writing of these is more than enough.

Earlier this year I managed a couple of out of state trips that I previously wrote about, only to discover the evil spirits had followed me. Eventually, having resolved some of these aforementioned problems I was feeling quite confident that I had prevailed in this contest with evil, just in time to focus my attention on the 2008 presidential election. I peacefully went to sleep election eve anticipating the morrow. I was convinced my schedule was going to be relaxed on election day once mid-afternoon arrived. Then I could settle down to watch news accounts of the final returns.

In the middle of the night I discovered very slow drains in my bathroom that even a plunger helped very little. My hope that during the time between then and morning might correct the problem was misplaced. I soon found out when I arose election day calm was not to be on my agenda after all. I quickly perceived the evil spirits had congregated in my sewer pipes when it was confirmed to me the commodes in this house had been rendered unusable even though the rest of the water drains worked just fine. My first thought was "Oh, s---!" or as I told my mother when I was young, sometimes smart mouthing, and she questioned my language, "I was only going to say, 'Oh shoot.' "

I want to explain that when I first awaken in the morning and begin to engage in personal care preparatory to work, being deprived of the use of such porcelain works of art as inhabit my bathrooms challenges my stamina, will power and even better judgment. I raced through what activities I could while considering my options though absent was the choice of being able to sit on the throne. I wished I lived in a wooded area. What seemed an eternity to me, but was actually three auto driving miles later through a multitude of consecutive miraculously green lights, I arrived at my work location and none too soon. I was relieved to be there in more ways than one. I got to repeat this feat the next morning after what appeared to have been a false alarm my sewer drain was clear after the plumber's first visit, but that's another story.

Election day afternoon after returning home from work I awaited the magic hour when the plumber was supposed to phone preparatory to his house visit. During the one half hour waiting time my thoughts turned to some I had entertained for many years about how prepared I would be in case of a disaster should power, water, and gas no longer be available. I had thought before just how challenging life could be without the use of bathroom facilities, but I realized this now in a very real way. I spontaneously decided to finally act on an idea I had entertained for years whenever I thought of emergency preparedness such as for earthquake here in Southern California.

I quickly drove to my nearby surplus store and purchased not the most inexpensive, nor the most expensive, but a moderately priced and what appeared to be a reasonably comfortable portable camping toilet. I was back home feeling quite comforted I could now cope and awaited the plumber's call which soon came. Even now, I'm enjoying a very unique peace of mind only we non-camping city folk who possess their own personal portable toilet can appreciate. I somehow feel more in control of my own destiny.

I felt so good about this purchase I was numb to the cost of needed repairs on one commode once the plumber arrived and had the water flowing freely again. Furthermore, I also willingly had a new water-saving commode installed in the other bathroom rather than repair that fifty year old water guzzler. Water had been periodically running inappropriately in that tank, so I had cut the water supply some months ago. I had earlier received a notice from the city to all residents requesting voluntary utility cutbacks, especially water, so I've made my contribution.

I think the evil spirits that have plagued me this year are finally gone, since the plumber ground out a huge ball of roots from the sewer line. The tree to which they once belonged has been gone for a couple of years. I'm convinced those evil spirits wickedly congregated there making that location their den of iniquity. They have been exorcised. Now I can move on to other vital matters of concern.