Sunday, June 09, 2019

REDHEAD AGING NATURALLY UP DATE


REVERSE OMBRE -- LIFE EXPERIMENT

What happens to red hair in the aging process?  This is a question about which I became curious as a young red-headed woman when I thought about what my aging might be like.  Incidentally we redheads are referred to as "Gingers" in some parts of the world.  

I was reminded recently of my red hair curiosity when a young woman associated with the first college I attended after high school included me among former students with whom she wanted to meet during a visit to our state.  While we were chatting at a nearby restaurant a middle-aged couple stopped at our table saying they just had to compliment my companion on her beautiful long red hair.  That attention to her red hair color brought to my mind the many times throughout my life such perfect strangers had given me similar compliments though I usually kept my hair cut short. 

When I first began blogging over a decade ago I wrote about having decided I wanted my body to age naturally, including my hair.  What prompted my hair view, when in my early twenties,  was seeing an aged older neighbor with “red” hair.  My older neighbor’s unnaturally-looking “red” hair was obviously dyed and just seemed not to be compatible with her quite aged state and wrinkled face.

This was in the day when attitudes about hair dying required the color must be so natural looking that no one could tell you dyed your hair, so if you did you wouldn’t admit it.  You certainly didn’t want to let your natural color roots  show, so had to keep that dye job touched up ‘cause your hair was constantly growing.   Other neighbors who knew her said she had been a natural redhead but had begun using a henna rinse as her red hair lost its color.  Frankly, I thought her hair color was most unbecoming and only accentuated the aging factor of her facial features.

I began to pay special attention to redheads in the following years as simply a matter of curiosity to see what happened to their hair color with aging, thus what might I expect?   What I discovered was redheads’ hair color changes varied considerably with aging.   Some turned a darker brown, others grayed even becoming white, and what I hoped for myself was to be among those who retained their red though less vibrant.    

I recall a few years ago reading a blog (have forgotten the name) written by a middle-aged woman who apparently considered herself to be an authority purporting to be a redhead.  She stated that redheads don’t turn gray, that our hair just turns an ugly dark plum or purple, as I recall, therefore she had to dye her hair.  Hm-m-m!       

Over a decade ago when I began blogging I first wrote “RedheadAging Naturally”.   At that time I bemoaned the fact that first I had silver threads among my red gold -- years later,  then darkened red gold threads among the silver.   The silver or what I consider to have gone from gray to white my 86 year old hairdresser describes as blond.  Who is she kidding?   

I never wanted to be a blond, but have nothing against blonds – I married one, only to discover if he grew a beard it was red!   Unfortunately for him, he lost most of the hair on his head prompting him to repeat what my brother always quipped when his hair disappeared, “You can’t have hair and brains both!”

Actually, the gray/white/blond has some of my now darkened red-brownish hair threads presenting me with several inches of this darkened hair at their far end.   My granddaughter has told me this is actually a style some seek -- Reverse Ombre style.  (Unable to find a picture of an older woman but this link gives you an idea of the two tone nature of the hair style.).  I also wrote of my thick hair thinning slightly and that has continued which is most unwelcome. 

My hair is no longer short.  When I retired a few years ago I decided just for fun to allow my hair to grow.  Also, I half-seriously thought, in the worst-case scenario, that if I lost more hair and what I grew got long enough, that maybe I could cut off what was left and have it made into a wig.  I guess that’s pretty far-fetched. 

My original longtime hairdresser, much younger than me, has since had to retire due to COPD.   Prior to that she was frequently coloring her hair and it appeared so liked my hair color she began trying to come up with various matching dye mixes through some of my hair’s gradual changes.  At one point she had one mix on her head that looked so good to me when I was lamenting the loss of my red that dyeing my hair was tempting.  Then I thought of all the hassle I didn’t want.  I also thought of this which I previously wrote with these slightly edited words:

Yes, I gave some consideration to trying to recreate the red hair color through artificial means--hair dyes. I know others, men and women, make this choice and I respect their right to do so. However, I have seen those [in the hospital, skilled nursing, rehab] who have become incapacitated, also become distressed, demoralized, and depressed when they viewed their reflection in a mirror. Their self-image was visually shaken because of their personal appearance, not only from the effects of their illness, but the sight of their hair dye disappearing as their unwanted natural hair color emerged.”

“Those are some of the several factors that have kept me from trying to recreate the original shade of my red hair color. The primary factor is that I strongly believe in aging naturally. I'm curious to see what happens during the aging process from beginning to end, and in between, with all the possible variations in hair color, skin, body shape, whatever else. That's not to say I'll like all the changes, but I will accept them, for they are me at any given point in time.”

I view aging naturally, my choice to live in place in my home, as one grand experiment which I explain to my adult children.  They sometimes become concerned about my coping with unexpected issues arising, wanting only the best for me, especially since they live across the country from me.  Life is an adventure filled with risks and as long as I have my right mind I’ve chosen the challenge of adapting to this stage of life living and aging naturally.

32 comments:

  1. I too never changed the colour of my hair or beard and let it grow to its natural grey now. I also have little on top and the friar's fringe with which I have been endowed is almost all grey.

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  2. My grandmother had beautiful red hair or so I thought. We lived with her for a while and then when we moved were reduced to once a year visits. One year she decided to go natural but we knew nothing about it. When she got off the train, I didn't know her. She had the most beautiful white hair which she kept till she passed at 93. Glad you have decided to go natural. Got a feeling all those chemicals can't be good for us.

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    1. Interesting to learn your grandmother’s hair went from red to white.

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  3. My son has honey brown hair and his beard comes in red!! That is the Irish in him ( or the Viking in his Irish genes) I am sure.

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    1. Intriguing how men’s beards sometimes come in a different color than the hair on their head.

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  4. I colored my hair in my 20s for fun; then let it go natural for a lot of years. When I had the hysterectomy in my mid-50s, I made the mistake of having a permanent too close to the surgery-- turned it totally frizz for my son's wedding. That led me to color it again and experiment with really dark, black almost. It looked okay but never felt like me. I decided then to let it go natural by coloring less and less--to avoid the skunk stripe. That led to where i am with it mostly whitish or gray. One reason I didn't stick with coloring it was trying to find a color that looked natural on me. I never felt it did. The gray/white is more attractive than a phony dye but it does look older, of course. I am old though; so who cares.

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    1. Sounds like you had some fun experimenting with different hair colors as is more prevalent today with little or no stigma toward women using hair dyes or how some colors can be so artificial-looking — reds, greens, purples. Really dark dye on older men hiding their gray can sometimes look very obvious.

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  5. One of my friends was a natural red head when she was young and the years has turned it a blondish color but she is so obsesses with trying to get her red hair back that she posts pictures on Facebook all the time of different things she's trying. She says that a redheads's whole identity comes from being "special" because of their red hair.

    Another friend, back in the seventies, went to Iran to work and took his 12 year old daughter with them. They had to watch her like a hawk because old men were always trying to buy her.

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    1. I don't agree with your friend's view of identity, any more than the woman who said all redheads hair didn't gray but turned ugly purple, but sounds like it's her reality. When I was in Ecuador years ago visiting family there then, when we went downtown in Quito we attracted lots of attention because we were all redheads, but no one wanted to buy us, or little ones, fortunately.

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  6. I also believe in aging naturally, which as a male without all the censorious scrutiny women have to deal with is fairly easy. But I can also understand people who dislike some aspect of their appearance and wish to change it (though I struggle with any kind of plastic surgery). If they want to dye their hair, or get a tattoo, good luck to them.

    Re red or ginger hair, I don't understand the traditional prejudice against it. I love ginger hair, I think it looks great.

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    1. Men do seem to be able to age naturally a bit easier than women. Redheads or gingers have been viewed quite differently in the past by various societies from being unusually special to being demons I discovered and think I wrote about here once previously.

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  7. My mother was a natural redhead as were all her six sisters. She started coloring it her natural color as soon as she started seeing gray. She was worried about how she would stop when she got much older. Unfortunately she died before it looked at all unnatural. My own hair is dark brown and turned the nice salt and pepper like my father's family. When I had chemo, it turned white as snow before it came out. Fortunately it grew back the same salt and pepper.

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    1. Guess your father might have had a more predominant dark hair or you might have been a redhead, too. Glad you got your salt and pepper back.

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  8. I have recently let my hair grow out to its natural salt and pepper after dying it since my 20's.
    You reminded me of a story my mother's best friend told me. She was driving as a passenger in a car and remarked to her companion about the gorgeous red, wavy hair the girl sitting in the back of the car in front of them had. When they overtook the car they saw the owner of this hair was a cocker spaniel!

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    1. That’s funny’s! Some dogs do have lovely hair.

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  9. My hair is turning grey, and I won't care if it turns white. But, my hair is thinning, so perhaps I will buy a wig in the future.

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    1. Never thought my thick hair would thin, but hope neither of us will need a wig.

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  10. I had naturally very dark auburn hair. When I was younger, I thought those with jet black hair ....that their hair change to white/silver/whatever was always glorious, but those of us with red or copper or gold in our hair, not so much. So I dyed until ....I dunno, which year I quit (but I'm pretty sure I was past 60), but when it got to having to dye every 3 weeks, I decided that much chemicals was bad. After about 12 weeks I caved and got a pixie cut to finish the job, I 'graduated' by the time 10 months had rolled around. Low and behold, my hair was a lovely mix of white, silver, and taupe'ish gray. My nail manicurist said people spend hundreds of dollars for that type of 'frosting', and I got it for free. Stopping dying was one of the best decisions I ever made. :)

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    1. Glad you got the natural hair color you wanted and could forego all the chemical dyes, plus look at the time and money you’ve saved.

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  11. Anonymous comments are not posted on this blog without a legitimate identifying link to the commenter.

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  12. Ageing naturally - it’s the only way. All that hassle is just not worth it.
    I used to have very dark brown hair, almost black; in summer when I spent a lot of time outdoors it turned auburn. Now it’s mellowed to a mixture of dark, grey and a sort of blonde which isn’t blonde. even if I wanted to tint a different colour I couldn’t, I seem to allergic to hair dye in my old age.

    One red haired friend of mine turned totally white in her sixties, it looked very becoming.

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    1. Interesting as we age when allergies we’ve never had develop. I’m always interested in how other redheads hair color changes with age.

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  13. I feel I am aging naturally, my mother's side of family all had beautiful
    white hair, forget it as I did not inherit, my father's side hair stayed
    dark - that is me. Because of shoulder injuries from falling I no longer can wash my hair, dislike going to shop but have too. I now have a lot of high lights put in my hair as I feel it is more age appropriate then dark hair for someone in her 80's's

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    1. Glad your hair has retained its dark color which doesn’t happen for a lot of people as they age.

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  14. As you can seebythe photoatthe top of my blog, my hair and beard are white. White white, not the yellowish white some people have. White hair is a common family trait for my mothers family - as is having psoriasis, bad knees and a tendency toward being overweight. I gotthat last one in spades - LOL. Our hair goes all white fairly rapidly. Interestingly enough, when I sent my DNA results from Ancestry to 23 and me they listed all of the traits I described above. That was interesting. I too prefer folks to let their hair color change naturally. I have neverseen a dye job that was not obviously a dye job.

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    1. Interesting you have the DNA results to account for your white hair. Most people don’t care these days if others know they dye their hair. I guess what matters is the person likes whatever they choose to do with their hair and we all have our preferences.

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  15. My father had honey-blonde hair. It was rather exceptional. His mustache grew out red. Perhaps because redheads are in the minority, I find I really appreciate seeing any and all hair along the redhead spectrum.

    I have what would be referred to as dirty blonde hair. I am choosing to let it grey as it wishes. If I were a man, I suppose I might be called distinguished-looking.

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    1. Your hair with gray sounds like you get highlights some women have artificially put in their hair and can be attractive on a woman, I think.

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  16. Yes, here too. Now that I can see for the first time, the grey startled me.

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  17. I remember the days when it was a "must" to dye your hair but make it look like it was the natural color. Now, anything goes. I saw a girl just today who had her long hair colored in stripes of purple, yellow and green !

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  18. I'd say about 25% of the people (mostly Asian) in my Zumba and tai chi classes have opted not to dye their hair. I decided not to dye my hair out of pure laziness. I knew I'd never keep it up, it would be expensive and having white roots show under black hair was not appealing to me. My sister-in-law has platinum blond hair and you can't see her grays. Lucky duck.

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