Life isn’t much different for me right now than it would usually be this time of year when I would typically be staying indoors during the day due to the heat. Temperatures have suddenly moved into the three-digit Fahrenheit numbers from this summer’s unusually less-warm July days. Now, humidity is very low with winds whipping around to combine with these high temperatures creating a climate of high fire danger.
So, as I write this, three fires rage in our Southern California surrounding area with at least one having zero containment, requiring some families to vacate their homes with only one such structure reported lost so far. Thousands of acres are burning with the possibility arson may be a cause in some situations. How firefighters weighted down with protective clothing and equipment manage to combat these flames in such threatening conditions boggles my mind. I’m thankful to not be in danger where I live.
Those residents needing to seek safety and shelter due to fire must also contend with the dangers associated with contracting Covid-19. This virus complicates life for even unthreatened-by-fire ordinary people, especially those without air conditioning who need to seek cooling centers, a few of which have opened. People seeking safety from the fires or respite from the heat, or both, are required to wear masks, observe social distancing which limits the number of people facilities can accommodate as well as the activities with which people can engage while there.
This extremely contagious virus continues to spread excessively with a segment of the population refusing to follow recommended safety precautions. I continue to find it disappointingly incredible that some of my fellow Americans care so little about their own well-being and not at all for that of others despite the obvious potential life and death health issues.
Life for humans and all of Earth’s other creatures continues to be fascinating to me. I resumed participation in a book club with which I’d been involved for a few years. Members have changed considerably since my last presence as death has taken its toll on these primarily seniors, but new readers have joined the group. This was our first virtual meeting as a few gathered in a local retirement community where they lived, with the rest of us Zooming in from our residences.
The book we discussed was a unique one which I thoroughly enjoyed reading: Award winning Soul of an Octopus by Sy Montgomery. The wonder of consciousness is explored with exceptional writing moving this story along with fascinating facts I had not known. The author’s educated observations were colored with emotional elements I had never imagined could occur between an octopus and human beings. Descriptions of interactions with several octopuses – yes, that’s the plural not octopi – clearly evidence they each had distinct personalities. I could never have imagined these short-lived sea creatures could be so interesting.
I have since pondered the lives of all creatures, including those many varieties in our oceans. I consider what is known of dolphins, whales, sharks, fish, along with lesser-known-to-me sea life as well as sea urchins, crabs, lobsters we thrust live into boiling water to then devour their meat. We humans pride ourselves in our superior intelligence, even our humanity, but what about these creatures?
I found myself wondering if we do discover life on other planets, or should life forms even eventually find us to visit our planet, what might they be like physically, with what moral and ethical values, if any? Might habitual lying as a means to an end be acceptable behavior as even some humans exhibit? What might they be like if in possession of emotions? What might be the implications for we humans?
Remember the original Rod Serling “Twilight Zone” episode entitled “To Serve Man”? Here’s an abridged version:
Thinking about life and death as occurs in all life forms, I’m reminded of recently discovering on the internet an obituary of a friend who died several months earlier, finally confirming what I had been concerned was likely to have occurred. She had held the 2006 celebration of life in her home in conjunction with many of my husband’s and our old friends after his death. My children and I with others had travelled there from our respective homes to share that loving experience with one another.
She was my last connection with any living friend or family member where I also lived many years of my life having key experiences –- where I met my husband, had earlier become politically active, served my first jury duty, effectively diluted with like-minded friends a covert racial discrimination situation, and shared many still treasured memories with then a large family and an abundance of friends on numerous occasions.
My friend and I had abruptly ended our last phone conversation when she heard some of her family arriving just as she had begun to discuss some concerning personal family matters, expecting we would resume our conversation later. We never had contact after that. My letters, while never returned, or phone messages with the number’s recorded message soon changed to be more formal, elicited no response when I periodically called. Efforts to reach a couple of her adult children I had never met were unsuccessful. A rumor had been shared with me a few years earlier that she might have Alzheimer’s but was not verified -- I still don’t know.
The number of living loved ones I have left have dwindled beyond any total I could ever have imagined. Seems strange to think of myself as the elder in my family and now even among my few remaining living friends. Just as many have shared here, one of the more difficult aspects of aging is the loss of friends and family which never gets easier. We treasure the memories and we get on with life as those who care for us want us to do.
I expect some of you are reading some interesting books, too, some of which may stimulate your thinking to go in many directions. Maybe you’re engaged in crafts, or any one of a multitude of other activities attractive to you during these challenging times. Likely your thoughts may occasionally take you on flights of fancy and speculation as mine sometimes do.
Do continue to stay safe and as healthy as you can be. Treasure whatever contact you may have with family and friends. Take comfort in knowing that in time this situation in which we live shall pass. My only question is, “will that be before or after I do?” she asked quizzically with a chuckle!
Not being able to get in touch with or learn about some old friends can be very upsetting and I too have experienced what you did with your friend suspected of suffering from Alzheimers. Mine too was exactly for the same reason and only after his death did I find out that he suffered and made his family suffer before he finally left this world.
ReplyDeleteSorry to learn that you, too, have had this experience. Really was frustrating not knowing about my friend as I felt I could have provided some support with occasional memory filled letters during a likely early stage when most patients benefit from such intervention. In fact, several years earlier a life long friend specifically asked me to engage with her with such reminiscing letters and occasional phone calks when she felt like it. She had other medical diagnoses but a gradual dementia was emerging before a significant worsening ultimately lead to her death. Her family did share with me the information surrounding her death from across our country from where I live. We never know why family members don't seek such possible support for their loved one, but perhaps their lives are so harried as they adjust to the new reality they simply can’t do that, or maybe they're embarrassed. Perhaps the friend has even instructed them to not reveal the information.
DeleteI have had that same last thought. I too have finally moved to the elder spot among family and friends. Ah, the good ole days when we railed at being put at the kids table.
ReplyDeleteAs for boiling alive our meals, I could never bear that and today won't eat lobster. My Dad in Key West use to throw them in the boiling pot and I heard them clawing the sides trying to get out. I have been known to have my date buy a live lobster in a sea food restaurant and then we would take him to the sea and turn them loose. Lets hope if the aliens arrive as in the Twilight Zone and we are viewed as a food source that they are more humane.
Guess we’re in the same age boat. So, you're a lobster rescuer — lucky creatures. Then there was the Twilight Zone episode of the couple provided with all the amenities they enjoyed on earth in a house built just for them. When the curtain was pulled on one wall it revealed bars of a cage where they discovered they were on exhibit just like our zoos — humane treatment?
DeleteI didn't need to watch the video to recall the "Twilight Zone" episode. The title immediately reminded me of the content. That program certainly included some unsettling episodes.
DeleteMy elder brother (84) became the patriarch of the family when our last uncle died in 2005. I (82) became matriarch when our last aunt died in 2012.
Ah Cop Car, those Twilight Zone episodes had some that really made us stop and think and still have meaning today.
ReplyDeleteSo, you’ve made it to being one of the oldest in your family, too.
Yes, Joared, and in only four years (should I live that long), I'll be the same age as the aunt who died at the oldest age of any family of that generation. Tempus fugit.
DeleteIt's an interesting experience to be among the aged and all that means. Life cycle but not a fun part. I have to work to not think of what was with remorse that it's gone. This is how it'a always been
ReplyDeleteLoss of what once was does require adjustments though some things can be better left behind.
DeleteLuckily I'm still young enough (73) not to have all my friends and family disappearing. They're still soldiering on into their eighties and nineties! But my mum often complained in her last years (her nineties) that most of her friends had died and she was feeling increasingly lonely.
ReplyDeleteThat can be the price of living a long life, with others not doing so.
DeleteI think hearing about the death of a friend long distance is so upsetting and unsettling. There's no sense of closure or ending. I've had that happen several times, once with a very close friend who lived in Florida and who was very private about her struggles with illness. It was difficult to grieve for her.
ReplyDeleteSo true and most of my long term old friends and family have lived a long distance from me. Even local ones here are gone now with the closest living an hour or so away. Technology has certainly been a boon for allowing us to easily keep in touch in real time, unlike the days of postal letter delays, expensive long distance phone calls.
DeleteI can imagine how hearing about a long distance death can affect you. One of our neighbours died last week - aged 95 - and two of her four children and many grandchildren are living abroad unable to travel in these pandemic times. It made me check whether I could visit my father (aged 92) and currently recuperating from another fracture. The answer from both his and my doctor was a sound no. Not for the time being.
ReplyDeleteAs for the questions you raised about emotions in living creatures, this is a quote by primatologist Frans de Waal: "In psychology, the six basic emotion theory is very popular. It is is based on facial expression studies, and postulates that there are six emotions — anger and fear and so on — that we share with other species, and that we share them across the board. And that all of the other emotions [besides those six] must be uniquely human. So if you talk about, say, jealousy — that’s a human emotion, because it’s not on the list. Or love is not on the list. Even though we have quite a bit of evidence of the Oxytocin system [a bonding hormone] in other animals. There’s a lot of evidence that attachment and bonding occur in other species, of course.
But the more I think about it, I cannot name any emotion that is uniquely human. There are maybe emotions related to religion — let’s say spirituality — but even for that, I cannot exclude that animals have those kinds of feelings. Who says they don’t? In humans, religious feelings are not expressed in the face. That kind of emotion is not visible. And if emotions are not visible, how can we exclude that it exists in other species?"
Not being able to visit your aged and recuperating father must be difficult for both of you. I do hope he continues to heal well and you both are able to have contact of some sort. Very difficult situation for your neighbor’s adult children.
DeleteAppreciate the information you've shared about feelings in other animals, i have thought mostly superficially about feelings in other creatures from time to time through the years. I was always quite confident of the presence of varied ones in a number of animals but especially my dog. Creatures in the sea pretty much seemed less likely to possess many feelings, but that book i read plus what you’ve shared here certainly gives me reason to think more about the matter — thanks.
That’s an interesting question to consider about any emotions that might not appear in facial expressions. We don't always know what we don't know, or even what we think we know, which makes scientific study so fascinating.
Ah, rats. Not the way one wants to find out that a friend has died. I had a sort of similar experience with an elderly friend of mine. I knew she had been ailing, but hadn't realized the extent of things. I recall phoning and the answering machine never picking up. This was never the way it was and the endless ringing made me think, Oh, no. Is that it?
ReplyDeleteBe safe and well down in So. California!
Bea
Sorry to hear about the experience you had trying to contact your friend. Guess I'm not alone in not hearing directly what has happened to a friend. I had read this is not an uncommon frustrating event for older people.
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