Big Bear Bald Eaglets Fishy Diet:
Continuing Up Date
Mama Jackie brings in a live fish -
gives new meaning to sushi's sashimi. Cookie
whines, then feeding begins also with Simba.
Papa Shadow arrives with another fish.
Eaglets are rapidly growing in size -- dark feathers appear to be emerging
from fluffy fuzz. Weather conditions have been trending cooler
than normal with periodic wind and unusual rain for May. Quick real-time glances of the nest I’ve
taken during stormy times reveal parental efforts to shelter eaglets but they’re
much larger now and generally are exposed.
***
A question that persists for me:
Is there something fishy continuing in the White House to undermine our democracy with the effort to centralize power there by weakening the other government branches coupled with neutralizing journalists (Fourth Estate) who report facts and truth?
***
What If ..... If Only ..... Revisited .....
My recent May 5th post and
comments querying whether or not a spouse affects what one thinks of as success
reminded me of this. This is a refresh with some editing of a July 2007 post.
Occasionally through the years, in moments of contemplation, I've
thought about how an individual’s life might be different from the one they
have, based on circumstantial changes in their activities, events, residences,
other variables, earlier in their life.
What if, at various times, anywhere along the way, the twists
and turns of choices and changes affecting them were made in directions other
than the ones they did experience, thus leading to different outcomes or
destinations?
I don't think about this for myself, generally, from a sense of regret. I think about it more from a standpoint of curiosity. I wonder how others view that question?
I've thought, wouldn't life be interesting if we could just put on hold whatever our existence was at a given time. Then, we could go off on an alternate route, full well knowing we could come back to the place we were before if we chose, then resume life where we left off. I guess that would require a quite different life dimension for each of us since we would be affecting so many other lives. Perhaps that could be possible ..... in science fiction.
As for myself, I experienced events at four or five years of age I would like to have avoided on both a personal and family level. An accident that comes to mind I only recall based on the details my mother described to me. I was perched behind the rider's seat reveling in the moment when my foot became entangled with the spokes of a moving bicycle wheel. The wheel spokes penetrated my ankle, though thankfully left me with only a large scar present yet today. What if... I hadn’t tried to find a foot rest for my tired dangling little legs, which resulted in me instead catching my foot in those bicycle spokes?
What if, some other changes, experiences, relocations, in my life hadn't occurred? For example:
What if... my birth family had remained intact? My experience of having my birth father remaining in our home could have offered me a different perspective on relationships.
I don't think about this for myself, generally, from a sense of regret. I think about it more from a standpoint of curiosity. I wonder how others view that question?
I've thought, wouldn't life be interesting if we could just put on hold whatever our existence was at a given time. Then, we could go off on an alternate route, full well knowing we could come back to the place we were before if we chose, then resume life where we left off. I guess that would require a quite different life dimension for each of us since we would be affecting so many other lives. Perhaps that could be possible ..... in science fiction.
As for myself, I experienced events at four or five years of age I would like to have avoided on both a personal and family level. An accident that comes to mind I only recall based on the details my mother described to me. I was perched behind the rider's seat reveling in the moment when my foot became entangled with the spokes of a moving bicycle wheel. The wheel spokes penetrated my ankle, though thankfully left me with only a large scar present yet today. What if... I hadn’t tried to find a foot rest for my tired dangling little legs, which resulted in me instead catching my foot in those bicycle spokes?
What if, some other changes, experiences, relocations, in my life hadn't occurred? For example:
What if... my birth family had remained intact? My experience of having my birth father remaining in our home could have offered me a different perspective on relationships.
What if... I had grown up and stayed in my birth city, or even the same state? My
circle of friends might have continued to be more centered on those there. I did retain one life long friend until she died a couple years ago, even though we had both left. But all the other friends I’ve made in subsequent relocations around the country I would never have known.
What if... my mother had not had some of the medical/sensory problems
she developed? My life would have been affected differently
if she had been able to return to her
teaching profession, or even expanded differently on her other skills and artistic talents.
What if... I had been able to continue my music, dancing
classes, develop other potential career interests and attend the private
university to which I aspired? My life career choices might have been quite
different.
What if... I had never lived for a few years in the country exposed to nature as a major companion? My appreciation and understanding of the environment and nature might
stem from quite a different perspective as a primarily city girl.
What if... I hadn't had to give away my dog when we moved?
My memory would be relieved of that emotional loss that I feel yet today.
What if... I had been allowed to accept the offer to ride a horse in Tucson, Arizona's annual western parade in that southwestern state to which we had just moved across country? I would have treasured memories -- assuming there were no incidents with which this inexperienced rider might have had to cope – which is why my mother didn’t give me permission. She apologized for this in later life – but I reassured her she probably made the wise decision.
What if... I had been allowed to accept the offer to ride a horse in Tucson, Arizona's annual western parade in that southwestern state to which we had just moved across country? I would have treasured memories -- assuming there were no incidents with which this inexperienced rider might have had to cope – which is why my mother didn’t give me permission. She apologized for this in later life – but I reassured her she probably made the wise decision.
What if... a generous family member hadn’t offered to loan me
the money to attend college in a day when there were no community colleges, scholarships
were limited, student loans were unavailable? I was so determined I would have explored
other means. I recall that included the possibility of enlisting in a branch of the
armed forces, despite the negative attitude of some in that time toward women in the military.
What if... I hadn't made what later seemed like foolish mistakes on
occasion? What if... I hadn't had those
instances in speaking when I "put my foot in my mouth"? What if... I hadn’t met some of the people
I’ve met, or I had met some others I didn’t meet? What if... so many more "what ifs"
that I could mention.
There is one interesting observation I've made over the years whenever I’ve heard most people engage in "What if...?" speculation as I've mentioned here previously. Invariably, whatever the past event or previous experience about which they are speculating, their assumption is that the result would have turned out better for them, "If only ...?"
How would my life have been different “if only…”? Would my life have been “better” – whatever that means? I wonder, do others ever consider the possibility the consequences just might have been much less desirable when they envision their “What if…” and "If only..."scenario?
There is one interesting observation I've made over the years whenever I’ve heard most people engage in "What if...?" speculation as I've mentioned here previously. Invariably, whatever the past event or previous experience about which they are speculating, their assumption is that the result would have turned out better for them, "If only ...?"
How would my life have been different “if only…”? Would my life have been “better” – whatever that means? I wonder, do others ever consider the possibility the consequences just might have been much less desirable when they envision their “What if…” and "If only..."scenario?
I must say I very seldom indulge in the "What If" game. I'm sure a hundred different possibilities would have opened up, but I've always been happy enough in the present and not inclined to look over my shoulder at what might have been. But I do wonder how I would have fared if I hadn't spent five years at a boarding school I hated but had gone to a school more suited to my personality.
ReplyDeleteI spent only a few months in the first and only school I ever attended that I really disliked,. Miight have been tempted to leave school if it hadn’t been for a couple of students in one class — the only ones who befriended me as I entered mid-term. Was in four different schools in three different states that eighth grade year. Can only imagine how miserable five years at a school you hated must have been.
DeleteYou have given me food for thought. I haven't done any what if exercises in decades and perhaps a revisit might just be the cure!
ReplyDeleteIt can be interesting to speculate about but mostly just for passing entertainment.
DeleteThe eagles sure are growing! Nature sure is something, isn't it, that all species know instinctively to care for their young.
ReplyDeleteI try not to play the 'what if' game. But I do think it's part of growing older that we look back and evaluate our choices and those made for us by accident or circumstances we had no control over.
The times when I have played the 'what if' game usually involves what if I had stayed with and married this boyfriend or that one. And the answer is always my life was better that I didn't.
I agree that nature’s other creatures and life forms are fascinating. Lots of other choices we make, or others we’re with make, that affect us that can alter our path. Who we marry and who we don’t could have major impacts.
DeleteOn the news media, if they are more looking for news and not an agenda, I think it will not matter what a president said. It's not like Obama liked Fox and made it clear that listening to Rush Limbaugh was terrible for good governing, but it didn't change anything for who listened or watched. Same today with Trump putting down CNN or NYTimes. Those, who like hearing what they say, keep right on and those, who never did, likely already found their news elsewhere. For those who aren't aware that news medias have agendas and ideas they believe are better than others, study history a little for Yellow Journalism and how it impacted our entry into the Spanish-American War--our first time to decide we should change what happened in the world outside this country. So, what I think is that Trump isn't undermining real journalism, he's going after those he believes are undermining his government (and most on the left would say do the undermining). The problem is it makes it difficult to get real facts when they are always interpreted for us-- on both sides of the political divide. I believe most people look for their news in sites they already agree with. Most media is about making money and probably as bound to report as they do by ratings as what they even think.
ReplyDeleteOn whether I look back at my life, I don't do that much but do see turning points where I made choices, and they had this or that result. Going backward is depressing to me. I can't relive happy moments and sure don't want to relive unhappy ones. I do it most often in the middle of the night if I can't sleep and hate it. I also though don't go forward, in terms of projecting outcomes, because I have no way of knowing what will happen between now and then. I live pretty much in the moment as much as I can, and when I find myself doing either looking back or forward, I try to put a stop to it and get back in the moment. I do plan for what I need to do (some of that will be based on past mistakes or future goals) but don't spend much time on that either.
Right now, I've got some very upsetting things that have happened in my family that are in the moment. Since I can't change them, I try not to think about them either. I wonder once in a while as in what got us here and could I do something to change it now? Since I don't know think I can, I sure did not see it coming, I don't dwell on it.
This last week, I learned the meaning of a new term, which I had never even heard-- black swan. It's the significant things that come along into our lives that we can't reasonably expect and that have catastrophic results. That would be like a kid goes to school and someone comes in with a gun and points it at them. That's a black swan if the trigger is pulled or even if it's not. Black swans are the random, senseless events that change it all, but all we can do is deal with our reaction. A writer can't use them much in books as readers expect foreshadowing. Life doesn't give us that with a black swan. I think that, as much as from our own mistakes, is why some turn to religion or even science to think yes, we can change it. We can protect ourselves from black swans. Humans want to believe a god or we have power, and we do in many things. Like when we head north in a week or a little more, we can plot our route. We cannot know what will happen along it.
Perhaps some people do explore viewpoints contrary to their own. I think some people do observe what is known to be a legitimate video of a speaker and attempt to objectively analyze the ideas and information presented for accuracy. Likewise, I think some people do assess journalists, media enterprises for their authenticity and consider possible biases. Certainly there are those who don’t, just as there are those reporters and media entities more prone to bias than others. We can’t control all that, but can exercise our best judgement about discerning reality from falsehood, but I’m not going to assume the worst of all because of some.
DeleteI can see how engaging in what if or if only scenarios could interfere with sleep at night in which case the activity might best be avoided. My approach whenever I’ve done so has been from a much more less serious position and largely just as entertainment. I have thought considering such variations could be fascinating to writers.
Life does present us with Black Swans — think i encountered that concept as one of the interpretations related to a movie in recent decades. I do hope the unexpected real time life challenges which you’re currently experiencing resolve in a manner you find agreeable. I think when they involve family, friends, or even others over whom we have no control, such a situation can be most wearing and frustrating. Control can be such a misleading concept.. Sometimes all we can do is just focus on our own well-being, I think, which I hope you can do.
It is the nature vs. nurture theory. I personally believe that you are born with a personality that will never change over time despite your various experiences. And that personality will also lead to various experiences in your life over time.
ReplyDeleteThat’s an interesting view of personality. I think that may be more true of some people than others as I’ve seen very definite personality changes in a few I’ve known from their early adulthood years to subsequent ones for no medical or mental health reasons. I think of one couple in particular who mutual friends told me had disappointedly changed so much. Our letters didn’t reveal that during the following years, but a few decades later I saw them in person and was exposed first hand to the truth of their changes which I had previously discounted.
DeleteI have played the "what if" game before and wish I could see how my life would have been different. What if I hadn't married my rebound guy? What if I had stayed in college and was now a marine biologist? Would be interesting to see where those choices not taken would have led us. But we didn't take them and here we are--warts and all.
ReplyDeleteInteresting paths you did not take. Who knows, maybe we would be referring to you as an oft quoted marine biologist — or maybe, god forbid, you would have accidentally drowned in one of your deep underwater expeditions and all would be saying, “What a loss — she had such promise.” Or, you would be a person remembered only by family, a few friends and unknown to the rest of the world.
DeleteI think of a number of people I’ve known of who experienced what were disastrous consequences from a choice made. Then, on a now altered path they emerged a few years later in a far superior world than the one they had been headed toward.
I try not to dwell, but a big 'what if...?' for me would be deciding to return to Cal. after a year abroad studying in Germany. I had had a waitress job lined up, but felt the pull of home (mostly from my mother, to be honest). I regretted my decision to return home pretty much immediately.
ReplyDeleteCan imagine you might have a number of scenarios you could conjure about what might have been had you remained in Germany — unknown, they are likely positive outcomes ..... but, might not have been. ... but we likely approach most unknowns with positive expectations, I think.
DeleteThose what-ifs are truly intriguing. I've wondered about a lot of choices I've made, roads I might have taken too. I guess I'm content with how things turned out, but I do wonder.
ReplyDeleteInteresting to wonder, I agree.
DeleteI can honestly say that I don't do the whole What If thing. It's not that I've always made the right decisions; it's that I feel comfortable knowing that I've made the best decisions I could at the time that I made them. Besides, as a commenter above said, it's all in the past, and there's nothing I can do about it now.
ReplyDeleteThat’s probably a healthy attitude as I don’t think it’s productive to consider what ifs or if onlys seriously, maybe brooding or chastising oneself, other than considering what we might learn from some.
DeleteI can easily say my life would have been different had my grandfather not passed away when I was 3 - he was a business owner and an avid outdoorsman. There would have been many hunting/fishing trips in my future and I may well have entered his contracting business. I likely never would have moved to California and definitely would not have met my wife. Life would have been radically different - so different it is difficult to ponder.
ReplyDeleteThat does sound like a lot of profound differences.
DeleteMy mother was a great what-iffer, and it paralyzed her. She not only what-iffed the past, she what-iffed the future. The past kept her awake at night, and the future kept her paralyzed with fear in the day, since she never could visualize a positive outcome to any "what if?" It took me many years to realize I'd picked up her habit, but once I tossed it out with the trash, life got a lot more fun and a lot more interesting. I sleep better, too.
ReplyDeleteDoes sound like using what iffing for real time living was creating undue complications. Considering pros and cons of situations is one thing, but sounds like what your mother did was quite different. Glad you got perspective so you could sleep.
Delete