Sunday, May 12, 2019

MEMORIES OF MOTHER


Memories come to mind of my Mother born into the predominantly agrarian nineteenth century and her transition from living in a farming community into the twentieth century industrial world.  I first shared some of these thoughts on Mother’s Day in 2009.

These days when so many experience difficulties encountered as a consequence of a nation and world with such wealth inequity, coupled with government upheavals – nations moving away from democracy -- are unlike any in my lifetime. I often wonder what my mother would have to say on the subjects.

Mother become a young married woman during the twenty’s heydays preceding the Great Depression. I recall her descriptions of a none too easy early married life though that evolved into a more prosperous existence in their later married years as occurs with many couples.  

She said the hardships during the depression’s financial downturn did not directly adversely affect our family.  The challenging years occurred before I was born later in her life.   Our immunity to severe hardship was primarily because my father’s work was associated with the newspaper business. Newspapers were the primary source of news, so they were in much demand by almost everyone regardless of their financial situation. In fact, two of the most prominent state newspapers were vying for his distribution services.

Radio was just beginning with unprecedented broadcasting power thanks to Powell Crosley and the ultimate “Nation’s Station” WLW in Cincinnati, Ohio.  “Constructed to sell the radios his factory produced, WLW became the most powerful AM broadcast station ever licensed for use in the U.S.”  Years later they were prominent in television broadcasting including presenting talk shows before networks adopted them.  This was the several state broadcasting group that had been sold to another corporation with which I was ultimately associated.

Those early years in my life I recall we enjoyed some radio programs selectively chosen by my mother – lots of music, some drama, comedies and news.   There was no TV yet during my mother’s young midlife years, much less computers and the Internet of today. Newspapers were a primary source listing employment opportunity for those seeking work. People placed ads to sell belongings so they could raise some desperately needed cash while others with limited cash sought bargain prices as they needed these items but had little money themselves. Everyone wanted to subscribe or at least access a newspaper. This is hardly the situation that exists today in the newspaper business. 

In fact, more and more local newspapers are ceasing publication leaving serious questions about the implications for democracy.  These community publications serve as monitors of local governments, investigating as needed, distributing news to a local populace likely not disseminated otherwise.  Even any local radio stations once a news source generally no longer are.   News staffs for ordinary local news in the multitude of this nation’s small communities are typically non-existent.  Think about available sources of local news in your own community.  

During the Depression my mother continued to be active in her women’s church group. They devoted themselves to helping others in need, an activity in which she engaged for many of those years and throughout her lifetime when she was able.  In those years  after the Depression when Mother unexpectedly was on her own with our young family there was a holiday in which we became the needy recipients of aid as she had provided others. 

A few years after I was born our fortunes had changed and my mother had become a single parent in a time when a woman raising a family alone found life could be very difficult. My immediate family had never lived extravagantly, but as I entered my early childhood years, I was absorbing from observing my mother the lessons of needing to be even more practical and frugal.  I was also learning everyone, including women, needed to be able to provide for themselves and even others for whom they might have to assume complete responsibility – that this could occur quite unexpectedly.

Mother was a remarkable woman who in her later years in the face of other adversity, when she became legally blind and limited in visual activities, created unique multi-colored hooked rugs that became unexpectedly desired by others who even wanted to  purchase them. Her vision prevented her from quilting, sewing or making other fabric or fiber items she had once enjoyed creating.  She had simply wanted something to occupy her, keeping her awake while she listened to what was then called “Talking Books”, long before audio books were available today. 

My mother had an amazingly optimistic and positive attitude toward life. She made multiple transitions and adaptations to her varying circumstances. I marvel at how well she coped as she lived happily independently most of her remaining almost 90 years. My brother and I were able to assist her being able to do so though not to the extent we might have wished.  I miss her and wish I could have her company in my aging years.  We would probably have our moments of irritation with each other for one reason or another.  There would also be lots of laughs.  We would be good housemates together and have so much to talk about.

28 comments:

  1. enjoyed reading your entry about your mother. thoughts of my own 18 year old mother at the end of the depression. usually I write something but
    did not this year. our mothers were amazing.
    thank you

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    1. Yes, they coped with much in their day.

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  2. My mother was similarly optimistic, positive and very practical. My parents were very financially stretched after WW2 when they married and had us two children and bought their first house. My mother was always looking for ways to make their money go further. At one point she started her own home business, making things like toiletry bags and hot water bottle covers, which did very well. It wasn't until us kids left home and some inheritances came through that my parents' money worries finally ended.

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    1. Often in those days people didn’t purchase until they had saved the money. Credit cards weren’t available until years after WWII.

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  3. My mom was a visionary in a lot of ways. Before the war she and my dad bought a house they turned into a two family and rented out the upstairs. Women of that era were amazing what they dealt with, how they handled themselves.

    I still get the Sunday newspaper but sometimes it sits for days before I open it. I will keep getting it unlit I can't afford it anymore. I don't want to see print news go out of business.

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    1. Your parents were fortunate to be able to afford buying a house before the war. Economics were poor with the continued depression effects prevailing. Loans could not be easily attained. Creating a rental apartment was wise. My parents were renting, had attempted to purchase the house. Since a divorced woman then, as my mother ultimately became and one with children, typically wouldn’t be rented to, she said our life would have been easier if they had owned the house when later my father suddenly abandoned us. A loan was not available to a single woman either when later the owner finally sold the house.

      I continued to support local papers, too, until street delivery became so problematic I finally cancelled two of them providing larger coverage areas. I continue with my immediate city paper, now reduced to once weekly that comes with the mail.

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    2. Actually, the banks had so many houses that had been given back for none payment after the depression that my parents were able to buy the place with no down payment. It needed a lot of work and they rehabbed it and sold it in the '50s.

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    3. That’s good. Banks were more attuned to couples I expect, given the attitude toward single or divorced women.

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  4. Your mother was a smart, resourceful woman of her time. That she kept her positive outlook and overall happy attitude shows that she was confident and sure of her own abilities to make it on her own. Which she did, time and time again. You have done her proud!

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    1. She had her teaching credential from what was then Kent State Normal School’s 2 year requirement, had taught in a one-room school house in northeastern Ohio before she married. Unfortunately her subsequent medical issues after my father left prevented her from working outside our home.

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  5. It was a tough time for mothers back then. Hard work and less respect except on Mother's Day.

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    1. Very traditional times with everyone knowing their place. For most women that meant in the home and the male was to be a good enough wage earner that she stayed there. A working wife could reflect poorly on him though traditional jobs of nurse, teacher, secretary could be acceptable.

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  6. Happy Mother's Day. Nice tribute to your mother.

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    1. Thanks and happy mother’s day wishes to you, too.

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  7. My mother died when my children were young. She loved them so much that I always thought of her as they reached certain milestones. She would have so much loved being a great-grandmother. I miss her especially on Mother's Day, not only because of the day but because she died on the Friday preceding Mother's Day.

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    1. Wish your mother could have been in your life much longer. Can understand the bittersweet feelings you must have as this memorial day comes each year.

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  8. Oh, how I wish you had a few photos of your mother you could post here. She sounds like such an interesting person.

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    1. I’ve not been inclined to post family photos, even deceased members, or clear pictures of myself due to my personal attitudes toward privacy, especially with so much exploitation on the Internet. Now we’re looking at the complications of facial recognition.

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  9. My siblings and I owe a great deal to our mother who bore a great burden of a philandering husband to bring us up to be decent human beings. Once all of us were independent and settled, she got out of the marriage and never looked back. She lived like a queen for the rest of her life travelling the world and living in total comfort and joy with her grand children and other members of her family. We miss her even today though she left us twenty years ago.

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    1. Glad you have such wonderful memories of your mother and she could enjoy those later years in her life.

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  10. It is a rare occurance when absolutely nothing on a post of yours resonats with me. My mother and I were at odds with each other for years because she chose to hide the truth from me about my birth father. I never knew ahy she seemed to take my interest in te guy so insulting to her. All I ever heard about him was he was a loser and spent considerable time in tyhe penetentiary in Canyon City Colorado. I know my grandmother hated him but my namesake uncle chuck liked him. From the early seventies my mother said he was dead. When I got interested in geneaology I found out he died in 1998, had remarried and I may have half siblings floating around somewhere. I will never learn more since my mother passed away years ago and my birth father's family refuses to speak to me. Oh well.

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    1. Can appreciate that memories of your mother are colored by her withholding so much information about your history from you. Father’s Day has little value to me given how my father chose to abandon us, but I did know about him and what good qualities prompted my mother to marry him. In recent years I’ve wondered if he and his older brother might have had PTSD following WWI.

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  11. Lovely post Joared, bringing your lovely mother to life with her struggles and hardship in a day when abandoned women were often shunned by community and former friends.

    My mother died young, my sister was only 13, I was 26 with 2 small children of my own. I have always felt ripped off by her death, as she was the anchor to my life. A woman way ahead of her time in spite of my father being the lord and master. She never wanted her life for me.

    I miss her so much - as you do yours. Big hug.

    XO
    WWW

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    1. So wish your mother could have been in your life many more years. I think of myself at 26, though I was still single, and how much I would have missed with my mother.

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  12. This is beautiful, Joared. You were blessed to have your mom for a long time.

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  13. I was very interested in your memories of your mother and the depression years. I am within about 2 months of publishing a book that describes my life from a 10 year old in 1943 to my late 20's and so much was due to the times then. For instance my folks wanted all 5 of their girls to be educated but, because of the depression they literally could not afford to send us to college. All 5 of us were taught from an early life how important an education was and to aim for scholarships so that we could make a college education a reality. That is just what we did, with their emotional and wise backing, and all 5 of us got our college degrees. You had a strong mother and I'm sure, from reading your blog entries, that you have the same quality.

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  14. Your book sounds interesting. I’m only a couple years younger than you so expect we may have encountered attitudes prevalent in those times. It speaks well of your parents, you and your sisters that you were all able to go to college. I expect we adopted some of those strong qualities from parental influences along with what might be in our genes. Mother had great skill in her ability to make something out of nothing, so little went to waste — partly a reflection of necessity developed when she grew up on a prosperous farm I think.

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